Behind the Kwote: Gratitude is a Way of Life

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Here in the States, we pause and give thanks on the third Thursday in November, typically with our families. My family, immediate and extended are no different. You can find any one of us sitting around a table of food, perhaps holding hands and thoughtfully announcing what we’re thankful for. But remove the holiday, and I’m not convinced the sentiment remains.

Take my cousins for example. No matter what birthday or Christmas gift I sent, they never used to call to say, “Thank you,” or even text an appreciative message.

Similarly, my brother and sister-in-law rarely thanked me for the birthday or Christmas gifts I’d send to their four children. Even if presents blatantly came from me, without Dwight’s knowledge, my brother-in-law would call or text my husband, unless he heard these words: That came from Kathy, man. Then, he would reach out and thank me.

I wasted hours, days, weeks fixated on solving this “dilemma.” If I held the door open for a stranger, more than likely the person would mutter, “Thank you.” If I gave a coworker a going away card, then the colleague would probably say, “Thanks!” But some family members? Nope.

I was hurt.

I was hurt, until I began keeping a gratitude journal. Here is where I began writing five things I was thankful for each day. I was hurt, until I completed a gratitude meditation. Here is where I learned to be grateful. I was hurt, until I spent 30 days expressing gratitude to friends and family who’d positively influenced my life. Here is where I learned to stop seeking external gratitude.

It took about five years, but now, I live a life of gratitude. Consequently, Thanksgiving is meaningless to me in terms of giving thanks. I give to whomever I can, as often as I can, with no expectation of verbal reward.

What about you? Are you more thankful on Thanksgiving? Is it important to hear the words thank you? Does it matter?

Behind the Kwote: *Flawed

flawedI’ve spent the majority of my life in shame. I was ashamed of being adopted. I was ashamed that my mother had a terminal illness. Then, I was ashamed that my dad gave up his parental rights. I was ashamed that I had to move to a small town my senior year and graduate with 25 people I didn’t really know. I had developed eighteen years of shame.

Once I began undergrad, I unconsciously created my own shameful experiences. Lovers and sexual indiscretions piled up. At that point, the shame covered me. But I kept it hidden.

So there I was, carrying and hiding decades of shame. I doubted that others had similar challenges. Everyone looked so perfect to me, with two loving parents and crystal clear paths paved with luck and fortune. Around 2004, I attracted more authentic conversations. Former students, friends, family, and coworkers opened up to me about their pasts and presents.

Boy, was I wrong.

Everyone else felt just as crappy as I did. They hid it, like me. Consequently, I began to reflect not only on my own, but also other people’s experiences. Rarely do friends and family want to share their innermost feelings for fear of being judged. For fear of being shamed. What is this cycle we’ve created? We live in shame and don’t talk about it because we don’t want to be shamed.

Once I figured this out, I wrote this kwote as a reminder: Don’t worry; the person next to you is flawed too!

*Disclaimer: Typically “flaws” refer to outward appearances, but I use it here to discuss so-called inward flaws.

Other People’s Quotes: Never Give Up?

If you ordered The Unhappy Wife last week, then it should be on its way. If not, then what are you waiting for? Until then, check out this Audrey Hepburn quote. I’m not sure about this one. It comes from the Committed Wife section of the book. I’ve talked a lot about releasing people and things on this blog, so I have to say, I disagree. What do you think, though? When it comes to romantic relationships, do you keep trying, or let it go?

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 ORDER the PAPERBACK HERE!

And if you’ve pre-ordered the eBook, then it should have released to your device today!

Other People’s Quotes: Marriage

This is my favorite one because it hits home. I had a GREAT wedding, paid for by my Grannie and attended by many who love Dwight and me. As much as I love my hubby, I did find myself waking up like Oh crap! Now I gotta work at a marriage! Anywho, let me know what you think.

And as of today, you can use this link to order the paperback. I figured I’d release it a little early so you can have your copy by October 20th!

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ORDER the PAPERBACK!

Other People’s Quotes: Intuition

If you’ve pre-ordered The Unhappy Wife eBook, then you have four more weeks before it’s on your device! If you’re waiting for the paperback release, then you have a few weeks before you can order a copy for you and your friends. Either way, I hope you enjoy this quote. It’s inspired from my second wife, Gina. Find out what happened when she ignored her instincts. And what about you? Ever ignored your gut feeling? What happened when you did?

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