DADDY CONTRIBUTOR: Lennon Carlyle

Today, meet Lennon Carlyle, author of “The Uprising.”

Why were you inspired to contribute to this book? It’s a fantastic way to encourage women to understand that all men do not have the same qualities or negatives. If my reality can benefit someone, I would be elated.

What is your father-daughter relationship like now? It’s distant in miles, yet improving within time.

If there is one thing you could tell your father what would it be?

I love you. I forgive you and I want our relationship to grow.

If there is one thing you could tell women who struggle with ‘daddy issues” what would it be? Not everything revolves around your father. Just because he doesn’t see your value or beauty doesn’t mean you don’t have worth. Let the negatives of the relationship strengthen your mind and spirit. Remember, not every man is your father.

If there is one thing you could tell men with daughters what would it be? I believe more than anything, you need father and daughter time. Be diligent in showing her how much you care, love, and treasure her. Build her up and stress to her that she can accomplish anything. Help her to evolve.

What do you hope your story accomplishes? No matter how badly someone treats you in life, whether it’s physical or mental, never let him or her break you. Try hard to find something positive out of the situation. The worst of times times can make you resilient and unstoppable. Hold yourself up and know that your mind is extremely powerful.

What are you working on currently? I’m writing short fiction erotica. It’s outside of my comfort zone, but if I don’t explore new opportunities how will I ever grow? I love a challenge and this is a thrilling one.

Lennon Carlyle is a freelance writer, raised in Georgia, where she currently manages an industrial equipment business. She loves meeting new people and hearing their life stories. Lennon and her husband just celebrated their ten-year anniversary.

You can follow Lennon’s blog or contact her at lennoncarlyle@gmail.com.

A portion of the book’s proceeds will be contributed to an organization important to Carlyle, Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund. The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund provides critically-needed medical facilities for treating United States military personnel suffering the effects of traumatic brain injury (TBI) and psychological health issues.

Paperbacks are available TODAY! 

eBook versions of Daddy are available now!

DADDY CONTRIBUTOR: Charise Kollar

Today, meet Charise Kollar, author of “Marshmallow,” whose story skillfully connects the dots of her relationship with her dad’s relationship with his own father.

Why were you inspired to contribute to this book? My ears perked when I heard that this anthology was in the making. I have long used personal journaling to process and heal from the tumultuous memories of my childhood. Granted, most of my personal writing has been positioned from the perspective of a fictional character. I suppose the distant relationship that I formed with my characters helped to reframe the situations in which I was writing about. This anthology contains my first memoir that features my voice as the narrator. I was inspired by this project because I knew that it would be a challenge I needed to take on in order to grow as a writer and as a daughter.

What is your father-daughter relationship like now? Embracing adulthood and physical distance have been the greatest gifts ever bestowed upon my relationship with my father. The physical distance has pushed both of us to spend genuine and meaningful time with one another when we have the ability to do so, mostly because we understand how fleeting these moments are. Time and age have softened my father, while adulthood has provided me with a rational layer to my overbearing empathy. We are learning to “meet in the middle,” I suppose.

If there is one thing you could tell your father what would it be? Years ago, during a rare vulnerable moment between us, I asked my dad, “Are you happy?” He scoffed, stared down at his coffee, and responded, “Yes” without hesitation. I have known this to be a lie, or rather, I have felt that there was more to the conversation than that brief yes. If I could go back, I would tell him that it’s not too late. It’s not too late to live fully and search for his true purpose. Perhaps this will motivate me to reopen the conversation before it does become too late.

If there is one thing you could tell men with daughters what would it be?

Please, for the love of all that is good in the world, please listen. Listen to your daughter, your partner, your siblings, yourself. Listen to the world’s messages. Listen to what is being said and what is not being said. Action limits us if we are neglecting to listen.

What are you working on currently? At the moment, I am immersed with researching and writing about “the ego” and social media involvement, specifically through the lens of body image advocacy. I find that many activists with an online presence utilize their own persona to inspire conversations within their communities, but I am curious as to how beneficial the social media involvement truly is for the individual activist. While I am definitely a supporter of social media as a means of communication, I am finding interest in how much of our involvement is ego-driven verses authentically intentional for the movement.

Charise Kollar is an English teacher by trade with a passion for mentoring and igniting a sense of self-awareness in teens. She is the co-founder of the spiritual blog for millennials, Real Talk Universe (realtalkuniverse.com). While she was born in New Jersey, Charise is a self-identified Floridian who has been residing in Tallahassee since 2008.

A portion of the book’s proceeds will be contributed to an organization important to Kollar, The Oasis Center for Women & Girls. Their mission is to “improve the lives of women and girls through celebration and support.”

Paperback and eBook are available to order TODAY!

DADDY CONTRIBUTOR: LaCharmine (L.A.) Jefferson

Today, meet LaCharmine (L.A.) Jefferson. Her story, “Wrong Number” kicks off the second half of Daddy, where each story moves towards women who want to relate to, forgive, and understand their fathers.  In her narrative, she describes the challenges with maintaining an adult relationship with her dad.

Why were you inspired to contribute to this book? I was inspired to contribute to this book because I wanted to share a little-known fact about the complexity of daddy-daughter issues. Growing up with your father in the home does not negate you from having daddy-daughter issues. These issues can occur in the midst of a seemingly normal relationship. A few years ago I purchased a book on the art of personal essay writing. After several brainstorming sessions for topics, I noticed that my dad was coming up a lot. I had “daddy issues.” What’s even stranger than this late revelation is that I adore my dad. I have many fond memories of our time together when I was growing up. But when he and my mother separated after I graduated high school, I encountered a different man, a man far less perfect than he claimed to be. Our relationship became strained.

What is your father-daughter relationship like now? My husband passed away suddenly in a house fire in December 2017. I saw my dad, by chance, the day after at my aunt’s house, who lives two houses down from my sister where I was staying at the time. Over the following weeks and months that followed, my father never extended himself to me to see how I was doing, inquire about where I was living temporarily until my house is repaired. Nothing. “What kind of father does that?” I asked myself multiple times. That only added to the pain I was experiencing from the loss of my husband. After a few weeks of acknowledging my hurt and anger over his inability to put anyone’s feelings above his own, I finally called him to let him know how I was doing. He was glad that I called. I heard it in his voice. At the end of our conversation, he said, “I love you.” I said the same. I was proud of myself that the God in me overcame the temptation of my flesh to sever the relationship with my father. Like I said in my story, he is the only dad that I have.

If there is one thing you could tell women who struggle with “daddy issue” what would it be? Free yourself from the pain by forgiving your father. In Luke 23:34, Jesus set the example when he said to His Father, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do,” when His chosen people hung Him from a cross. Recognize that your father did the best with what he had based on his upbringing. I don’t think it’s possible for a parent not to love their child. However, they can certainly be clueless as to how to show it. Rest in the knowledge that you are loved by the most High God, our Heavenly Father.

If there is one thing you could tell men with daughters what would it be? You are your daughter’s first experience with the love of a man. Whether she wants to or not, she will engage in relationships with men based on her relationship with you, good or bad. Love her unconditionally. Tell her she is beautiful no matter what. Tell her she is the best gift for any man that she shares her time with.

What do you hope your story accomplishes? I hope my story projects the importance of forgiveness. I know it’s cliché, but the act of forgiving really is more for you than it is for the person who hurt you. Harboring un-forgiveness in your heart prevents your from living your best life.

What are you working on currently? I’m in the beginning stages on writing my third fiction novel. So far I’ve written about a woman’s addiction to the wrong man for all the wrong reasons (Unfinished Business) and a married couple doing all the wrong things as they’re attempting to overcome the pain of infidelity in their marriage (Reconciliation to Hell). Now I’m writing about a once loving marriage, seemingly, being divided by one spouse’s budding relationship with God.

LaCharmine (L.A.) Jefferson’s writing can also be found on her blog, Naturally L.A. She is a wife and mother of two. Visit her website for more information.

A portion of the book’s proceeds will be contributed to an organization important to Jefferson, Vista Maria. The organization’s mission is to “deliver innovative care, support, treatment and education to vulnerable youth so that they heal, believe in their worth, and build the skills needed to succeed.”

The eBook version of Daddy is available now for pre-order!

The paperback version is available for order here.

DADDY CONTRIBUTOR: S.R. Toliver

Unlike The Unhappy Wife book, Daddy is not written by me. This anthology includes stories written by women, who felt it important to publicly re-tell narratives centered on their relationship with their father. Each woman’s purpose is similar, yet different. Every Friday, I invite you to read about their reason why.

Today, meet S.R. Toliver, author of “Trial by Father.”

Why were you inspired to contribute to this book? I have always had a strained relationship with my father, but I was never able to talk about it until a couple of years ago. Therapy helped. It was in therapy sessions that I realized what I felt was valid. It was in therapy that I learned that I’m not responsible for the way I was treated, and that it was okay for me to let go of my father because he was the cause of my anxiety. After being able to talk about it, I felt like the next step was to write about it. There might be a young girl who is dealing with some of the same issues that people don’t want to talk about, and maybe by my speaking about it, they’ll know that they aren’t alone.

What is your father-daughter relationship like now? I completely cut my father off about two years ago. I had a major anxiety attack the summer before I began my Ph.D. program, and I couldn’t figure out why. What I realized later, though, was that it was because my father had been in the same space, something that I’ve avoided (physically by not being around or mentally by drinking). There’s so much trauma that I experienced when he was around that it started to manifest physically. I just didn’t know that it was called an anxiety attack until then. I’ve been much happier now that I don’t speak to him or see him.

If there is one thing you could tell women who struggle with “daddy issues” what would it be? It’s not your fault. You father’s issues don’t define who you are or who you have become. They don’t have to guide your life. If it’s hard for you to see that, like it was hard for me, then therapy can work wonders. Don’t be afraid to seek help from outside voices.

If there is one thing you could tell men with daughters what would it be? They are bombarded by images that constantly tell them they aren’t enough. They are consistently told that they aren’t deserving of love. They don’t need to hear the same messages from you.

What do you hope your story accomplishes? I hope that it opens up discussions about the ways fathers can place unnecessary burdens on their daughters. I want there to be conversations about how toxic masculinity can cause fathers to question and judge their daughters rather than questioning the society that oversexualizes them before they begin to acknowledge their own sexuality or sexual identity.

What are you working on currently? I always tell my friends that Storm (from the X-Men) saved my life. I say this because I always looked to her as a pillar of strength even when the whole world hated her just for existing. My Ph.D. work centralizes science fiction for this reason. Reality can be burdensome and harsh, and although it is necessary to acknowledge, sometimes Black girls need dreams to hold onto instead of reality.

S.R. Toliver is pursuing a PhD in language and literacy education at the University of Georgia. Her current research is based in the critical tradition, analyzing young adult literature and literacy pedagogies in an effort to promote social justice and equity in education. She can be reached on Twitter: @SR_Toliver.

A portion of the book’s proceeds will be contributed to an organization important to Toliver, Black Girls Code. The owner hopes to “provide young and pre-teen girls of color opportunities to learn in-demand skills in technology and computer programming at a time when they are naturally thinking about what they want to be when they grow up.”

The eBook version of Daddy is available for pre-order right now. 

Paperback is available for order here.

DADDY: Reflections of Father-Daughter Relationships (Cover Reveal)

 

I write to inspire. I write to motivate people to re-think social issues. I write to raise women’s voices because, although women make up nearly half of the world’s population, many times our experiences are not heard, and subsequently, devalued.

To that end, I’ve compiled another anthology. This time, I’ve invited 13 women to write memoirs centered on their father-daughter relationships. Over the next couple of months, I’ll introduce you to ten of the writers. Each Friday, they’ll explain why they wrote and what they hope to accomplish by participating in such a project.

SYNOPSIS

A father’s presence is important in a daughter’s life. He is the first man a little girl sees and knows. He demonstrates how men relate to women.

But what happens when the father-daughter relationship is dysfunctional? Daddy answers that question.

Included are fourteen memoirs that describe the impact a failed father-daughter relationship can have. These women share essays and narratives that detail various stages of breakdown. Whether an event occurred in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, each story explains how their father’s physical, emotional, or psychological abandonment has affected them.

The book is separated into two parts. Part I shows the proverbial truth in the phrase, hurt people hurt people. While some stories confirm why or how men mistreat their daughters, others show how daughters sometimes internalize neglect and continue the cycle either with the relationship they have with themselves, or others. Part II illustrates how compassion can lead towards a path of inner peace and happiness, no matter the state of the relationship.

About the Editor

Dr. K E Garland is an award-winning writer, whose work has appeared in the The Coil, The Mighty, and For Harriet, a popular women’s blog. Her writing focuses on creative nonfiction intended to inspire. Though born and raised on the west side of Chicago, Katherin now lives in Jacksonville, Florida with Dwight Garland Jr., her husband of over twenty years and her daughters, Kesi and Desi.

Editor’s Links: Website  WordPress  Facebook

                              Twitter  Instagram    Amazon

                              Goodreads

eBook pre-orders available NOW! 

Paperback orders available June 2, 2018.

How Do You Love YourSELF 💜

Today we hear from one of my favorite feminist, Lovey, who hosts a blog on Medium.

The Unhappy Wife: Book Review

First review of the new year is by Lovey over at Maquillage! Check out what she thought. Check out her feminist perspectives about this and other topics. And of course, if you haven’t yet, check out The Unhappy Wife 🙂

Femonomic

I had to read this book the moment I was told the theme by its very own Author. She is one inspirational, motivating and rousingly beautiful woman. Yes, an academician and a blogger too. Well, she is one bomb.com.

The Unhappy Wife, a book of short stories based on the real lives of 12 women in marital discontent. Twelve women share one thing in common – the quest for being happily married to the men they chose; however, each one finds herself in an unexpected marital predicament. Inspired by real events and told from each woman’s perspective, these short stories are firsthand accounts detailing the realities of marriage well after each woman said “I do.”

 It has all the perfect ingredients for my taste. No, I am not married but we are all aware of the dynamics of a Relationship between a Man and a Woman. And, I…

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