Mental Health Matters: Adoption with Dr. Masters

marchita_masters_adoptionThis week, I had the privilege of discussing adoption, adoptees, adoptive parents, and foster care with Marchita Masters, PsyD, who not only has worked with foster care children in several settings, but who has also adopted a child. Our conversation can be viewed on YouTube or listened to on SoundCloud or Apple Podcasts. I hope it is helpful as we seek healthier ways to engage with and support one another.

14 thoughts on “Mental Health Matters: Adoption with Dr. Masters

  1. Finally getting caught up on your blog and had a chance to watch this which was good. I think her talk was more relevant for those who like her adopted children at infancy, and would love to see more interviews with others who have adopted older children, as well as those who have adopted after battling infertility unsuccessfully, and of course adopting children of a different race , not to mention private versus foster care adoption which are each their own minefields. Hmm, did I just ask you to blog on my behalf ? 😋 I really enjoy watching your videos. It’s a very lonely feeling adopting from Foster Care during this pandemic that basically prevents us from taking advantage of a lot of resources and activities in our community that would help these girls we are trying to adopt. (Oh look I just thought of yet another topic for you…!)

    One of the biggest things I learned throughout my journey of infertility and multiple failed adoptions is how differently it is handled in different states, as well as marketed, and how that can affect encouraging adoption. There of course is the massive issue that anyone who is infertile is told that they should “just” adopt, that ignores the apples and oranges that is adoption versus having a child biologically, as well as the mental health issues that go through the grief and PTSD involved in long-term infertility and loss. In my network of infertile women I have only encountered one who has gone through as many years of loss as my husband and I have and then ultimately adopted through the foster care system. They don’t make it easy to build families through foster care in most States, even when the kids are legally free. From ridiculous training requirements (not the training content itself mind you, but the accessibility and lack of transferability if you’ve taken in another state), to the complete lack of cohesion between offices within the same state (each seems to have a different process and different level of knowledge) to the of course outright bureaucracy involved in getting things processed (it took one caseworker six months to respond to an inquiry for a sibling trio …something you think they would have responded to immediately since it’s so hard to find families who have the resources to adopt sibling groups). Well we live in Oregon my husband and I took the training in Washington because they only offered the one in Oregon in our area once a year and Washington’s was online… But it meant we could only adopt from WA, and not Foster, even though the curriculum was almost identical. Oregon said we would have had to start all over again and take their version of the exact same training and do the exact reference checks and background checks all over again (we had tried going with them five years ago before infertility treatments and it was such a clusterf**k and how they treated us that we did IVF…).

    Sorry just went down the rabbit hole there but I love the work you’re doing and encourage you to keep it up!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I wanted to pop on so that you know I saw your reply and I appreciate it. Short answer is…I think you’re right and kind of like all of the things, adoption is so multilayered, that I suppose I could begin an Adoption podcast lol

      Long answer…forthcoming ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Is a month too long to offer a sound reply?
      RE: Types of Adoption…I agree. So, even for me…I was adopted at 10-months-old, but out of my family, so some of what she communicated didn’t even apply to me either. On my adoptee journey, I’ve learned that there are so many different categories of adoption, each with their own niche, that I suppose we would each have to seek out that specific one if we want to have some type of mutual understanding/help. I do think her website will be helpful eventually, whenever it’s completely launched.

      RE: Infertility…I couldn’t possibly responded to this, even as I’m trying because I don’t know anything about it, but I’m glad you shared because this, again, is a niche that only those who’ve experienced it can understand. I have heard, however, “just adopt” as if it’s like going to grab a puppy or something, which is insensitive.

      RE: Foster Care…Dr. Masters actually does have experience with offering therapy to foster care children and I hate to say it again, but I do think her website would be beneficial because that’s what inspired her to create it: her experience with this population: https://myfamilybydesign.com/

      In fact, she has a category called, “I adopted.” You may be able to offer a story there.

      I can’t imagine why the system is set up to only be able to adopt from a particular state. I’m beginning to believe that the system doesn’t really want to have people foster children at all.

      Thanks for your encouragement and kind words ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Another wonderful and very informative interview, Dr Kathy. I am not sure you know it, but our younger son is adopted, after being our foster child for 3 years. I’ve dealt with quite a few adopted children and adoptive parents over the years and have conducted parenting classes as well. The topic is very close to my heart.

    Liked by 2 people

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