Monday Notes: 7 Questions

I have seven questions I want to ask you because they’ve been on my mind for a while. Normally, I’d write a story for each, but this time, I’ll follow-up with a brief anecdote instead. I hope you’ll participate and answer one or two.

Here goes.

  1. twitter-292994_1280Do you think children should be able to use a device when at the dinner table? I notice this every time Dwight and I eat out. The last time, there was a young child, no more than eighteen months old. As soon as she finished her meal, the mother propped up her cell phone and had her watch a video. At the adjacent table, a boy around seven-years-old had stared at a tablet for the duration, only stopping to eat his nachos. Something just doesn’t seem right about these scenarios.
  2. Is it rude to be on your phone during work meetings? I don’t mean talking on the phone, but you know, your phone vibrates or lights up. You check it and send a quick text or email response, and then return to the business at hand. Is this rude?
  3. Do you think people who don’t wear their hair in its natural state have self-esteem issues? Some people might think I’m only referring to African Americans and their afros, braids, etc. They’re included under a broader umbrella. I dye my hair because I’m not ready to face the world with gray edges. I don’t think I have self-esteem issues, but at the same time, I don’t like my self with gray edges lol Is it a preference or a deeper thing? What say you? child
  4. Should children be forced to offer a greeting in social settings? This seems to be a more recent trend. When I’ve encountered children under the age of ten years-old, and they don’t say “hello,” their parents offer up something like, “Oh, John is shy. He doesn’t like speaking to people.” Then, the child trots off having never acknowledged there are other people in the room.
  5. What should people do if they have different love languages? For example, my youngest daughter’s love language seems to be quality time, but mine is predominantly receiving gifts. Should I plan to spend time with her as a way to honor her love language, or should I give her a thoughtful gift and hope she appreciates my effort?
  6. What do you think about lawnmower parenting? I personally think this is the cause of our new generation’s anxiety. Some of them rarely experience challenges, and when there is one, they don’t know how to deal. Sometimes this leads to a full-on spiral. Of course, I’m no expert on the subject, but I am curious about others’ opinions.
  7. What is the purpose of familial relationships? I believe the purpose of these types of relationships is to relate to another person in some way, not just to be related. But in families, I’ve noticed people don’t seem to be trying to relate to one another at all. Parents, siblings, and the like tend to think they already know you, so they don’t have to get to know you. Consequently, they never really try to relate; they’re just content with being related.

Mmmmkay. Let me know what you think!

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80 thoughts on “Monday Notes: 7 Questions

  1. I dye my grays too. I don’t think it’s a self-esteem issue though, because when life gets hectic and I go awhile between dyes, I’m not embarrassed to leave the house or anything. I’m okay with the world seeing my grays. I just prefer for all my hair to match (I’m in my thirties, so it’s not ALL gray and if I don’t dye it I get this horrible in-between hair).

    I don’t think having a preference for looking a certain way means a person has self-esteem issues. All of us women should do whatever makes us happiest 🙂

    Now on the children and devices, I’m torn. In restaurants, I think it’s usually okay. Some kids are really tough to have out in public. Especially if they have some sort of disability. It might be the only way to keep them focused and behaving in an unfamiliar setting. They might not be allowed to have devices at the table at home.

    Then again, it can become too easy to rely on devices to keep kids sitting still. It’s too easy to use them as a crutch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for answering a couple of these. I’m thinking that changing our hair in any way seems to be tied to our identity and how we feel about ourselves (on some level). I guess it doesn’t have to mean that we have low self esteem, but there seems to be something that we dislike; otherwise, we’d leave it alone…I think.

      For the kids on the device, I do believe more and more we’re using it as a pacifier, instead of teaching them how to self-regulate in a situation (e.g., be quiet, engage in conversation, daydream lol, whatever).

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      1. I think changing one’s appearance is just another part of human expression, like writing or painting or anything else. Maybe it’s because cometic-stuff is primarily female that it comes under closer scrutiny than other forms of expression? That’s how I tend to feel about it. How women choose to alter their appearance always seems to come into question by both men and women alike.

        As for the devices, some kids have a lot of trouble self-regulating though. I’m thinking of kids on the autism spectrum since that’s the population I work with. Teaching them how to self-regulate is a lot more challenging than with neurotypical kids, and for all we know that parent letting them use the devise is teaching them self-regulation. The deal might be “Eat your meal first without bad behavior and THEN you get the device.” I just feel like we never know another person’s situation or what challenges their kid might have.

        So, I agree that the devices can become a crutch, but I also think we want to be careful about judging strangers in restaurants.

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  2. Wow. All tough questions that could go either way. Per work etiquette, I’d say a quick phone task at meeting is acceptable — I’d give them the benefit of the doubt that it’s reasonably urgent, unless they do it more frequently than everyone else or it visibly interferes with their role or others’ roles at the meeting. I’m less generous to the kids. Those little bastards need to learn the rules of politeness 🙂 Per hair, no rules whatsoever — everyone be as natural or unnatural as you like. I once gave up combing my hair for Lent. So I guess my rule is that kids need rules and guidance but also independence to test those rules (no lawnmowers please); but my definition of “acceptable” for adults is extremely wide. Do, think, and say whatever you please, so long as you aren’t actively blocking someone else from doing so. My rule when I supervised a small dept was dress up or down however you like and give others the same respect to do as they like. If you’re getting your work done, I don’t care if your hair is cotton candy and you’re in your pajamas. Anyway, disrupting the bourgeois sensibility is probably a good thing 🙂

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    1. LOL to “those little bastards need to learn the rules of politeness” and to “hair is cotton candy and you’re in pajamas” LOL I am literally cracking up right now. I pretty much agree with everything you’ve said.

      And thanks for taking the time to answer these!

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  3. 1. Do you think children should be able to use a device when at the dinner table?

    I think it depends on the family dynamic, but, in general, devices should be put away when eating.

    2. Is it rude to be on your phone during work meetings? I don’t mean talking on the phone, but you know, your phone vibrates or lights up. You check it and send a quick text or email response, and then return to the business at hand. Is this rude?

    No. The meetings should be more interesting.

    3. Do you think people who don’t wear their hair in its natural state have self-esteem issues? Is it a preference or a deeper thing? What say you?

    It’s definitely deeper than preference because I know (white) women with curly hair tend to straighten their hair and those with straight hair want theirs curled. I blame capitalism (you always want what you don’t have). Yay capitalism!

    Also, with dyeing hair: youth is supposed to be the most attractive, so of course, people don’t want their hair gray.

    On the other hand, I have locs because I prefer not to deal with my hair and while locs are a natural hairstyle, they are not my hair in its natural state. So.

    4. Should children be forced to offer a greeting in social settings? Yes.

    5. What should people do if they have different love languages? For example, my youngest daughter’s love language seems to be quality time, but mine is predominantly receiving gifts. Should I plan to spend time with her as a way to honor her love language, or should I give her a thoughtful gift and hope she appreciates my effort?

    I think if you give her a git that involves quality time, then both of you win.

    6. What do you think about lawnmower parenting? I’ve heard it referred to as snowplow parenting, but either way it does a disservice to children.

    7. What is the purpose of familial relationships? They’re biological. I get the deeper question here, but that’s about it for me. If we’re lucky, we get to relate to them instead of just being related.

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  4. Heavy questions. I’m going for number three. I think it’s vanity over self-esteem. I’ve colored my hair for thirty years, and I’m fairly certain I would be entirely silver if I stopped. I’ve been thinking about going natural for awhile now. It takes confidence to be unapologetically yourself. When I say it that way, I guess it could be an issue of self-esteem, but we all keep up appearances in so many ways.

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    1. Agreed Crystal. So, based on everyone’s answers about #3, next time, I think I might ask why it’s so hard for people to admit when something might be tied to their self-esteem lol

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  5. Great points here, Kathy and I’m with you and many comments that digital devices are away for the meal. When young and if out for longer meals my son would take a book and if after an hour or so he became bored (and I can accept that adults can be boring!) I was happy for him to read! Lawn mowing Parent is a new one to me?? I assume this is helping out around the house … which should be a given and not paid, as I have heard elsewhere. As for a shy child, I can recognise this but feel a quick greeting, farewell in the long run is better for the child … I have seen cases where they are so used to being ignored they almost fade away from the group. Your final sentence sums up the post very well, about really having the opportunity to know each other on a deeper level and otherwise ‘, they never really try to relate; they’re just content with being related.’

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    1. Thanks for reading and answering Annika! So, lawnmower parent is one who makes sure their child doesn’t have any obstacles in life. They can be found calling in to their child’s job, writing resumes or college essays, etc.

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  6. I am against devices at the dinner table for kids and adults. Our dinner table is technology free from everyone…I’m on the fence about children in social settings. My daughter is quite shy so she doesn’t ignore but she isn’t always friendly either. I don’t want to force her to be friendly when she is not comfortable, but at the same time, I do not want her to ignore adults in the room either…

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    1. Hey Brittany! Thanks for answering. For some reason, I’m okay if an adult looks at the phone for a moment and then returns to the conversation or whatever we’re doing, but a child staring at a tablet for an hour seems odd.

      I hear you about your shy daughter. I wonder if she and others will create new rules where it’s acceptable to just walk into a room with no greeting. It’ll be interesting, for sure.

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      1. I do not mind if adults look at the phone and then return but some do not return I’ve seen more and more lately. I’ve seen them consumed in phone calls or Facebook so much so that sitting with them at the table was pointless. And you are right about the child. There’s more to life than that tablet.

        No idea about my daughter who picks and chooses who she wants to greet/open up to…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. lol I don’t know why “some do not return” made me laugh, but I hear you. I have a friend who will whip out his phone and tune out all the happenings once things get a bit boring for him.

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  7. No I don’t think children should be able to use devices at the dinner table, nor should adults. It is rude to those around you. My son was very shy, so speaking to strangers was difficult for him. I never insisted he make small talk, but I did insist on basic manners: please, thank you, hello, etc. I think that has served him well. As for hair, it may or may not be due to self-esteem. Some people just really don’t like their hair, and if they want to change it, that’s okay. As for love languages, I think we should respond the way people need us to, and not in the way that we would prefer…if that makes sense!

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    1. Thanks for answering Ann! I agree about basic manners, and really, that’s all I’m wondering. We’ve gotten to a point where “hello” and “good bye” are not standard lol

      I tend to agree with everything you’ve said. Although, I’ve been known to pull out my cell phone during dinner 😉

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  8. Hi Kathy – first of all, can I say I’m mad at you for putting all of these questions in one post??!!😂
    Let me try to just respond to a few of your scenarios: #1: I don’t think devices belong at the dinner table. I would like for children to learn that mealtime is a time to positively interact with and take interest in others and enjoy their food.
    In response to question #4: While I don’t believe in teaching children to “like” people for whom they may have reservations or shyness toward, I believe it is important to teach children to acknowledge the presence of others in a gracious way. Sometimes I catch children staring at me and when I smile and say “Hello! How are you?” and they don’t respond, I tell them [in a jovial but meaningful tone] “You can’t stare at me if you’re not going to say hello!” Sometimes their parents have the decency to be embarrassed.
    #5 The love language question intrigues me. I’m going to be thinking about that for a minute. Right now I think it is dynamic, especially when it comes to multigenerational relationships….But in the example of you and your daughter, I think that those times you choose to spend time with her are going to be perceived as meaningful and memorable. I have a friend who is a great gift-giver. Her gifts are planned, well-thought-out and make the recipient feel like “Wow – she really gets me!”

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    1. LOL Note to self…3 questions at a time 😉

      I love that response to children staring. I actually do something similar when I see adults staring lol Usually I’ll say real loud, “Hey how are you???” And they look away and don’t say anything.

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  9. Good luck with all the engagement you’ve just signed up for 😂 I was starting to mentally answer N, Y etc going through your questions, but some require more than a yes/no answer. Great questions, and all worthy of their own posts.

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  10. No, I do not think children should be on the phone at the dinner table. When we go out to eat we all put away our phones and talk to each other. We’ve actually received dirty looks from others because we were having fun and laughing. It made me sad that not many families talk to each other any more.

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    1. I agree Michelle. It just looks weird to me for a child to have never looked up, interacted with the other people at the table, or even stopped when they eat (sometimes). We’re somewhere in the middle. Phones are not banned, but conversation is encouraged.

      That’s hilarious that people would look at you all funny because you’re interacting lol

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  11. Hi. About cell phones and the like: At meals they should be tucked away. People are addicted to them. It’s pretty ridiculous.

    I get together with various friends for meals. Two of the guys are often checking their phones for messages, or feel the need to look something up. It’s real annoying to me.

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  12. Oh goodness. I just got a piece of typing paper out to write down all of your questions. Obviously, great questions posed in a blog post get participation. I will have to remember that!

    1) Somebody else’s children can be raised as they see fit. Mine on the other hand would be encouraged to participate in the “table conversation, ” even the wee ones. It’s becoming a thing of the past that families actually eat together. Being that it’s often the only time they have to share, I’d say NO to phones at the table!

    2) It’s been a while since I’ve attended a work meeting. I do remember having my phone ring once or twice during the meeting, and I felt rather embarrassed that I was the one disrupting the flow of the meeting. Eventually, I left the phone at my desk. I’d hope that others would find it prudent to do the same, especially those who have the nerve to answer & talk!

    3) It’s all about preference. If you feel better about yourself wearing your hair with edges that make you feel more comfortable, go for it. No one is going to be the wiser unless you tell them that you do, and why you feel the need to [TMI by the way]. Goodness knows what other people cover up. And thank goodness for that!!!

    4) Ugh! The word “forced” is so off-putting. I have found that children clam up even more when they feel they are being put on the spot anyway. Maybe, they talk their little heads off when they are in their own same age social setting, and feel less interested in adult jibber-jabber. So why make them do something you or I disliked when we were kids?

    5) This subject is one of my younger sister’s favorite topics. She ain’t here, so I’ll have to answer. In my opinion, sharing quality time with someone, your child, friend, or other is a gift. Quality time comes at a premium, and although not tangible, it creates precious present moments.

    6) Until just today, I had never heard of “lawnmower parenting.” I clicked over and read up on it. Eek gads. Really? This would make an excellent blog post. Personally, I think parents who fall under this phrase are driving themselves to drink, and it ain’t water either. I can understand wanting to protect our children, but with the internet and all they know that is going on in the world, how are we protecting them from what they see, hear, and most possibly experience anyways? If we think the world is rife with adversity now, give it 10/20 years. My advice would be…Save your energy for then!

    7) It took me 22 years to find a family worth “relating” to, I’m not passing up any opportunities to relate to them, even if I have to be a bit of a pest about it. I have always found it interesting that families born into each other’s lives have such volatile relationships. Thankfully, I never had to get it, because I didn’t have a birth family. I chose one, and me and Sister Sledge are kindred spirits!!!

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    1. LOL I’ll have to remember to pare down these questions to maybe 3-5.

      I agree with most of your answers. The one about children being forced to speak, I’ve clarified a little bit. I just mean say, “hello” when you see them. We ain’t gotta have a discussion on the state of the union lol But I’ve noticed that this latest generation of parents have kinda forgone forcing the basic pleasantries. I do understand why…it’s because like you’ve said, we were forced to do it, so I think they’ve decided they’re not gonna make their kids do it.

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      1. LOL. I think we all enjoyed answering all 7 of your questions. I know I did, just didn’t want to miss any or answer out of order. 🥴. You’re right about ‘the basic pleasantries’ falling by the wayside. Now, if you don’t catch their eye like a piece of technology does, and oh, master the speak, forget it!

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  13. Carrying your phone and promptly answering emails and texts creates an expectation. When I am interacting in person with someone, be that dinner, meeting, doctor appt, or whatever, I shut off my phone ringer and put my phone in my purse where I cannot see it blinking or feel it vibrating. I want the person I’m with to have my full attention.

    Not wearing one’s hair in its natural state is not necessarily a self-esteem issue. I don’t color my hair, but I look old compared to other people my age. Looking young matters sometimes, it gives you an edge for job interviews or promotions or on dating websites. If you have the time and money to cover your gray, and you want to, be my guest.

    On the love language question, I’m torn. There is nothing wrong with giving what you like to give, but it seems more thoughtful to give what the person would like to receive.

    I’m not a parent, but it seems wise to not shelter kids too much from reality, and to let them suffer (at least a little) the consequences of their choices. They need to develop resilience or they will be ill-equipped to deal with life’s inevitable disappointments.

    I don’t know that there is a PURPOSE for familial relationships, perhaps to ground us, to make us feel as if we belong somewhere. It’s great to have sisters who understand me without me having to explain. Children used to be helpers to parents in their illness or infirmity, but many live too far away now for that to be practical. There’s a minefield of shoulds and expectations here, and if you don’t heed them, expect to feel some guilt.

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    1. Think I pretty much agree with all of your answers. My mind’s jury is still out on the hair thing, but Judy made a great point about how far I wanna go on the “being natural” statement, so I’m thinking about this further.

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  14. Hi Kathy! Such thought-provoking questions. I ended up answering three, instead of one or two:

    3. Do you think people who don’t wear their hair in its natural state have self-esteem issues? Not at all. Society always has its own set of expectations on how people should present themselves. I love braids, and I’m usually spotting them. But I also love my natural hair short, and it suits me, if I may say so myself. 😀 The only issue is the time it takes for me to get ready for work with the latter. So, it’s certainly preference, for me.

    4. Should children be forced to speak in social settings? I’m not a biological parent (though I have many children in my life) but I think children should be allowed to be children, that is, do what is comfortable for them as long as they are not misbehaving. It’s sad that nowadays that children are expected to be this and that, namely; smart, polite, achievers, the list goes on. What happened to childhood!

    7. What is the purpose of familial relationships? I think it’s supposed to be a strong bond between family members, which basically means be there for each other. But unfortunately, it’s not always the case. Because we’re all busy trying to live our own lives.

    Lawnmower parenting is a new concept I’ve never heard of. Interesting!

    But a wonderful post, in all.

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    1. Maybe “forced” is a strong word. What I’m thinking is if we don’t teach them to speak when spoken to as children, then when do they learn to speak when spoken to? I mean they don’t have to sit there and hold a lengthy conversation with adults lol but a greeting doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.

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  15. I’m not a parent yet these are great questions! As someone who believes that a bit of charm (the sincere kind in addition to basic politeness) is far luckier to have than a lot of smarts with no charm, these all intrigue me. There are lots of times when folks won’t say that they were annoyed — so we must do our best to be extra kind. No cell phones unless extreme emergency when with others – that’s my experience. one time I was at the grocery, chatting with an employee there, & the moment I pulled out my phone to check off my grocery list, I lost their interest, which was a big confirmation of this for me. As far as kids & social stuff – everything to my mind is a learning opportunity & social skills are absolutely essential — in other countries there’s a lot more mixing of generations & because that’s expected, then that’s what gets taught. As for dealing with difficult family folks, well there’s another learning opportunity lol

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    1. Thanks da-AL! I think some of these “basic” rules have flown out of the window with the advent of cell phones and other devices. Thanks for sharing that brief moment. That’s exactly what happens when someone whips out their phone. You know immediately either they’re no long paying attention to you, or you’ve at least lost them for the moment.

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  16. Lovely post, Katherin – as usual, it is thought provoking and insightful.

    I’ll tackle one question; for some reason I immediately latched onto #3. I must admit that I didn’t like the way it was worded by questioning self-esteem. I see “improvements from a natural state” as self-care, which I think is very important. It shouldn’t be confused with vanity.

    I believe anything that feels comforting and allows for confidence is to be encouraged, not suppressed.

    I’ve colored my hair since I was in my late 20’s (my children are already showing gray at this age, too). Even though it is inconvenient, expensive and annoying – I love how I feel with my current hairstyle/haircolor. If I eventually decide to go gray, then I will embrace it when that time comes!

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    1. Thanks Judy and thanks for answering! Yes. I re-phrased and re-phrased, but that’s the only way I could describe it. Perhaps, I see the question as one of self-image, which I do see as being tied to self-esteem. So, I wonder if altering yourself in anyway is tied to how you view yourself in its natural state?

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      1. I love being down-to-earth and natural. Not much for make up etc.
        But it all depends on how far we want to take that “natural state.” Underarm hair? Unibrows, stubbled chin?
        I do admire woman who wear their gray hair confidently – and many look great. I think it’s uplifting to our self-esteem to do whatever makes us feel uplifted.

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  17. So many side topics can come from these questions, for sure. Here are my answers to those questions:

    1.) Nope. It’s rude and to allow it or encourage it would excuse rudeness. Dinner should be about the people there interacting with one another.

    2.) In general it is, but I also know that some people (especially managers) tend to need to respond to things in immediacy. But, in general, I think using the phone during the meeting is poor manners – one can always excuse themselves.

    3.) This is tough to tell. Sometimes, I think people have an idea how they want to look, and that can be a matter of self-care and not a matter of self-image. I think the individual’s reason for doing it might decide the reality of this.

    4.) Forced? No. Encouraged? Absolutely!

    5.) It’s important to learn how someone else speaks…trying to speak to someone in the language thy understand is a huge step towards a great communication.

    6.) I’m going through this right now with one of my kids. He has expressed I put too much pressure on him, so I’m working on letting him express himself on his terms. It’s a work in progress.

    7.) Support. Loyal Support. Does it always happen? We’re all human, right? 😛

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    1. Thanks for answering these! I agree with all. In fact, I think for #4, you’re right. Our generation was forced (I think you and I are in the same generation), but encouraging one to speak is a good idea.

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  18. 1. We have a rule of no phones at the dinner table.
    2. Phones at meetings are rude unless an important call is expected, which can be flagged in advance
    3. Not unusually so. It is probably about cultural norms and some are braver, but there are many reasons to straighten or dye one’s hair.
    4. Th e kids should observe basic manners of hello, thank you, etc.
    5/ Time for compromise!
    6. Sounds like parenting has gone a bit far for some. Kids do need to learn responsibility and dealing with life going wrong sometimes.
    7. Phew, but question, but yes, it’s about learning to live with, cooperate witg, and support each other.

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    1. I can understand this. I also think it depends on your job. I’ve been in several situations where the person responds and goes back to participating in the meeting…sometimes it’s the person holding the meeting lol

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  19. Questions 5 and 7 I can’t answer since I’m single and have no idea what are Love languages or the family relationships. To me you either Love someone or you don’t. And Thank goodness our parents were not trying to analyze us regarding family dynamics.

    My brother Stephen and I were brought up to be close to one another because my parents were practical people who knew that they would die and I would become Stephen caregiver. No need to go deeper than that.

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    1. I agree that how anyone wears their hair is their business, but I have begun to think about hair being a part of one’s self image, how one sees oneself…a lot of times it’s an extension of identity.

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      1. True. I’ve watched several YouTube videos dealing with the subject. Personally I would not wear a weave or a wig unless I lost my hair. My heart goes out to Ladies who have alopecia or cancer. They need the wigs.

        Sometimes I do think that some of the younger Generation is buying into society Beauty standards but on the other hand Natural Hair events like Curlfest which I’ve attended for the past few years show that the Natural Hair industry is booming.

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      2. Definitely. I had a friend with alopecia, so I understand that struggle. I keep seeing Curlfest (in NYC, right?), which seems to be pretty cool. You’re right. That industry is booming!

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      3. Personally I had to rethink hair and the concept of beauty because last year Thanks to menopause my hair has been thinning and bald spots appearing. One of the realities of aging. April 2018 I cut my hair off. No more vanity. No more trying to get the hair to grow. Sixty is not the New 20 or 30. I also stopped coloring my hair. I’m a Senior citizen. It is what it is. I had my time in the Sun so I hand over Beauty regimens to the young Women.

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      4. To attract guys. Many Beauty regimens are painful and time consuming but if you want guys to notice you then you gotta look good.

        Of course even though I stopped dating years ago I still like to look nice and my Frida Kahlo Unibrow is not conducive to female attractiveness.
        I don’t get my eyebrows and upper lip waxed as frequently but for special occasions I do along with pedicures and manicures. It’s getting warmer in New York City and I must restart my pedicures or risk wearing sandals displaying caveman feet.

        One good thing about menopause is that I have not had to shave my legs in years. The hair on my legs stopped growing. However even as a young woman I was not into makeup except for lipstick and mascara.

        These young ladies kill me when they say that their faces are Beat for the gods! Lol! 😀😜🤣😂😆

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  20. Great questions However having grown up in the 1960s and 1970s cellphones and computer devices didn’t exist. My brother Stephen and I were Taught to be polite and have manners. Also at least in my family children were seen and not heard. You didn’t interrupt Adult conversation.

    Of course since I never married nor had children I can’t comment on the parenting questions. I’ve heard of helicopter parenting but nothing about lawnmowers. I do recall from my days as a Museum Security Officer teens and their parents who expected us to do their homework for them.

    Being a blunt person I told them that we reccomend you get the Museum map and find the paintings or artwork on your own. Parents are creating a generation of lazy kids who think that the world owes them something. When I had homework questions my Dad would send me the encyclopedias he purchased. Now kids have Google but they seem incapable of thinking for themselves or doing any kind of analysis. During my ten years at the Museum I noticed that especially in High school and College students.

    As for dining out that was a rare thing for us. My Mom cooked or if she was sick Dad cooked. However as we got older Daddy did take us to restaurants and we were expected to behave. Know proper etiquette.

    In these modern times both adults and children act like cavemen.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for answering these D! I do appreciate it. My grandmother (who’s in her 90s) had the same philosophy of children being seen and not heard, so I understand. Devices have made it to that children, even if they want to be heard, are not because they are distracted by someone’s cell phone or tablet.

      As for the lawnmower parenting, what you’ve described is an example of that. Many parents do not want their children to experience hardships, so they do things for them, never allowing them to experience pain or other negative emotion.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. These are all great questions and responses.

    For the first- my children all went through their toddler stages before smart phones were really a thing. My husband and I just didn’t go out during those times because they were usually too squirrelly and loud to take out. We didn’t want to ruin others’ dining experiences. The few times we did, one of us usually ended up going out to the car early with the kid/s and the other stayed only long enough to get a to-go box. The devices do allow parents to go out with their kids without disturbing others, rather than being trapped home for years on end. LOL. I get that. Also, people can be very mean if your child acts up in a restaurant. It never bothers me–as long as the parents are doing something about it–but I know others aren’t always so understanding.

    I also dye my hair. I’m getting one of those gray skunk stripes above my right eye and I don’t have the courage to go with it. My hair is wavy, so I’m always curling it to smooth it out but I’m starting to wear it in its natural state more often.

    I’ll have to read about lawnmower parenting. I’m not sure what it is.

    Happy Monday!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Monday to you too and thanks for answering K. Alice! I hadn’t thought about the convenience of devices for parents who want to go out for a nice meal. And I should’ve because I’m the “mean” person side-eyeing you at the restaurant when your kid is running around lol I suppose it’s a catch 22.

      So, since I’ve posted this, I now see what I was saying more clearly. Your dyeing and curling your hair example is exactly what I’m saying. Unless it’s cultural (as someone above pointed out), then it seems to be a comfort-level of some sort. For some reason, you aren’t quite comfortable with just letting it grow out as is. I’m wondering what that is for many of us (myself included).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I bet a large part of it comes down to marketing. We’re always being told natural things aren’t good enough…we need such and such a product to look like the airbrushed model selling whatever it is we need. 🤷🏼‍♀️

        Liked by 1 person

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