Yesterday I talked about paying attention to where I spend my energy as a way to gain clarity and make room for more pleasurable thoughts and actions. One day before my birthday, I’m sharing another way I’ve gotten clear.

Knowing Myself. I’ve spent the last three years cultivating the relationship that matters the most…the one I have with myself. I’ve gotten to know myself more and more, and I have to say, I love her.


I’ve realized just how much I have to communicate. It’s a part of my being. I could blame it on being a Gemini, ruled by planet Mercury, the messenger. But I won’t do that today. Let’s just say I’ve noticed that if I’m in a situation where I’m silenced, then I have a physical reaction. It begins with a pulsating jumble in my belly that swirls around, and moves up towards my throat.

These times don’t happen often. But when they do, I begin to shake my foot out of nervousness and blink my eyes real fast because I know if the interaction doesn’t end soon, whatever is in my mouth is coming up and out, good or bad. Because I’ve recognized this, I now find healthy ways to use my voice no matter what, like keeping virtual notes or blogging.

Another thing I’ve learned is that I have to exercise. You might be thinking, duh, don’t we all? The answer is I don’t know. For me, if I don’t practice yoga, ride my bike, or go to the gym too many days in a row, then I become irritable. In fact, exercising prior to writing or editing seems to clear my brain and boost my creativity. Consequently, I now prioritize movement; I think it’s also a way to clear stagnant energy.

Along the same lines, lighting incense and meditating at least four times a week has become a necessity. The smell of incense, specifically earthy scents, calms me. Likewise, meditation allows me to clear my mind and provides a pathway for listening to my intuition and heart. Because I know how I feel in a regular, calm state, it’s easier to recognize when my body sends a signal in a misaligned situation.

The last thing I’ve done consistently to clear my mind and get to know myself is to keep a gratitude journal. Four years ago, I realized I had issues with feeling important and loved. So, the first thing I do is write “I am” statements: I am important. I am love. Notice, I didn’t say, I am loved, but rather, I am love, itself… wrapped up in a person. With this statement, I’m not seeking love from outside of myself, but rather acknowledging that I’m love personified and fully capable of bringing love to a situation. After these statements, I find five things for which I’m grateful.

Again, I’m not perfect. There are times when I forget I’m supposed to bring the love and want to cuss someone the eff out. But more days than not, when I participate in the above activities, I become clear about who I am before I vibe out in the world with other people.

Tomorrow I’ll share the third and final area of my life I’ve cleared up.

Until then, tell me…do you know yourself? What do you love about yourself? Do you have daily rituals before you go out and greet the world?



41 thoughts on “CLEARING II

  1. Yeah, I realized that I need to exercise way more than I currently am. Moving has, of course, messed up my routine, and I don’t have the same things here in the same way that I had them in Gainesville. (For example, I prefer water aerobics, but the Y offers only two evening water aerobics classes, and I do not like one of them whereas GHF had several water aerobics classes every day.) So I am still in a process of adjusting.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. “with as little judgment as you can glean from this” 😂😂😂

        I moved in August, didn’t have a car until mid-January, and have to be to work at 7 (which goes against my natural rhythm and inclinations). So I’m still figuring this whole thing out.

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  2. Love this! You are doing many positive things for yourself. After a long hiatus, I am doing yoga again, too. At 4:30am 3 or 4 days a week before week. I’ve also started walking/jogging now that it’s not snowing and freezing. Also hitting the gym, only once a week but better than nothing. I admit I felt much happier when I had more time to engage in vigorous exercise regularly. Now I scrape time for it when I can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you mentioned this. I was just telling someone that they needed to actually MAKE time to do what they like, and not just do it if there’s time leftover after they’ve worked themselves to death.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pretty much the same as you on most fronts Kathy, minus the blinking eyes and twitching feet…but I know what you mean, I get this feeling that I am about to jump out of my skin and pounce on the offending person and I just have to breath. I’ve found joy and myself through all those things you’ve mentioned- exercise, meditation, gratitude journal, affirmations. Now I gotta go read your Clearing Part 1. To be honest, when I saw your title, my first thougth was…oh dear, has she gone and become a scientologist? hahhahha Oh, and while I am here…how come I never knew you ride a bike?

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Me and boy don’t ride far…he can handle about 2.5km before his little legs get tired. Me solo once upon a time though, I used to clock up hundreds of km per week. So no lycra for you?

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! Such specific observations. Not just general what’s good for everyone but how it affects you personally. I notice the same thing when I don’t get 15-20 minutes to myself. No interruptions. No questions. If I do not have time to decompress after work, I am a GROUCH.

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    1. EXACTLY! That’s when you know you’ve really met with yourself. A lot of times we know or notice these things about others, but have never taken the time to examine our own selves (whom we’re with all the time – lol)
      Thanks for adding about the 15-20 minutes. I can see how that would definitely be important.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m very impressed by your discipline – I also try to do those things like exercise and struggle with it sometimes. What you wrote about that gripping feeling when you feel silenced – well, I found that profound. I guess it speaks to our similar upbringing regarding suppression. I have a lot of difficulty with anger and those feelings and I sure liked what you wrote with your awareness.
    Great post! Looking forward to the next one!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sure that’s part of what it is Judy – our backgrounds. They affect us much more than we know. But I also think that anything that you’re taught that goes against your nature will always feel off. You know?

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Kathy, I love all of your ways of getting clear!
    To piggyback on your list, I have to add that journaling helps me sort and process my thoughts and emotions; being in nature and near bodies of water I find very soothing and cleansing; and engaging in a creative activity that is nonverbal (like knitting, cooking, painting, dancing, etc) cleanses my wordy palette of thoughts!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks Leslie! And Ugh! I forgot about being at the beach; that does it for me too. I don’t know if you feel this way, but I feel like I’m one with the water!

      Thanks also for sharing your nonverbal ways. Those are just as important, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. KE, I love this post. I love your structure. I pretty much do the same. I believe I know myself and do my best to continue growing in self love.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Why is it coming up anonymous boo? Anywho, thank you for the compliments. That’s all any of us can do is “do our best” in each moment (with hopes that we’ll grow). Thanks for stopping by and reading ma’am 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Not sure. I was on my phone when reading and commenting. Anywho! Keep going—you keep me going and the consistent writings of encouragement are graced with purpose. Love you!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. My self was lost for years in the jumble of work, my marriage, home responsibilities, chores, pets, other relationships. I retired and suddenly had extra time, which people were eager to eat up. I said no, and began to do what I should have long ago. Finding myself started with writing (journaling, poetry, short memoir). Like you, I exercise and do “moving meditation” (mindfulness during simple chores, no multi-tasking). I am simultaneously paring down and branching out, ridding myself of extraneous baggage and trying new things that appeal to me. When I take good care of myself, it gives me the energy I need to spend on others. Finally, I can see self-care for what it really is, a win-win. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Exactly Joan! It’s funny how we seem to learn that doing for others first and ourselves last is important, when it’s the opposite and as you’ve said, once you take care of you, then you can actually take time with others. Wish we learned this earlier.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. OMGosh! While we were in Tampa, I had the epiphany (and reminder) regarding my need to exercise and live near water. The combination creates a cleansing that is indescribable. I have realized when I do not exercise I experience irritability, lack of focus, and other factors. I am back to clearing my headspace by ensuring I am working out at least 3x a week. Utilizing the Five Minute Journal sets me up for success and mental flow daily!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Well look at you… I love this post and the previous one as well. Looking forward to part III.
    “Know thyself.” Do you know how many people are out there that do not truly know themselves? As you know, my topic of choice is dating, love and relationships, and in this arena, I meet a lot of people who truly have no idea who they are, what they truly like, and what their limits are. This is essential if you’re truly going to evolve as a person. And even more essential if you plan on adding someone else to your life.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Listen. I’m living proof. Married for 21 years, but just learned to know myself three years ago…do you know what kind of havoc this wreaked? lol So, Jay, do you show/coach people to get to know themselves?

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I completely understand how life’s circumstances can begin to cloud/cover ourselves. Hope you’ll be able to clear everything away and get to know the you you want to be in this moment 😉 I’ll be sure to check out your post soon.

      Liked by 1 person

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