Monday Notes: *When You Know Better

~ kegarland

img_5728When you know better, you do better, and when you do better, you have some semblance of clarity. You know yourself, and you no longer walk the fine line of being one type of person in public and an entirely different one in private. You learn that it’s either okay that you speak from your heart, or it’s not. You learn that people will be comfortable with who you are, or they will not. Either scenario is fine.

When you know better, you do better, and when you open your eyes and begin to see other people for who they are, instead of who you want them to be, then you can truly choose. You can choose to highlight the excellent parts. You can continue to allow the bad parts into your space and energy. Or you can determine if the good outweighs the bad. You can decide with whom you want to engage and how.

Do-the-best-you-can-until-you-know-better.-Then-when-you-know-better-do-better.When you know better, you do better, and when you do better, you accept better. What is better for you? Is it a better job that is aligned with your passion and skillset? Is it a better relationship that mirrors your values? Is it a better home that reflects who you are? Whatever “it” is, when you know better, you’ll feel what’s best and draw it into your life. There will be no choice; like attracts like.

And when you do these things altogether: be your true self, see others for who they are, and accept better circumstances, then you can live a more peaceful life.

But first you have to know better.

Happy New Year good people! Are you making any changes this year? Will you continue walking a similar path because it’s working for you? Feel free to share; you never know who you might meet right here in these comments. As for me, I’ll be publishing another book and focusing positive feelings towards the type of educational setting that’s right for me. 

*inspired by Maya Angelou

80 thoughts on “Monday Notes: *When You Know Better”

  3. Happy 2018 to you Kathy what a wonderful sentiment! I had the great pleasure of meeting and interviewing Dr. Maya Angelou for my column several years ago. She was “real” and fearless. Thank you for reminding me of that through your words! Teresa

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  5. Happy New Year, Kathy! Good going with the new book.

    In the past, I used to beat myself up over certain choices I made. I’ve come to realise that I was working with the knowledge I had at the time, or the teachings I had swallowed from family, other adults who had influence over me, and various systems.

    I’ve learned to take responsibility for my actions and to think for myself. Most importantly, I’m learning to extend grace and compassion to myself instead of reinforcing my inner critic when it berates me with dialogue, such as “How could you have done that? You’re so stupid.”

    This has led to my biggest changes for 2018 that involve self-care, which I believe is self-love in action, and adopting new mindsets and habits.

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    1. This is so on point for me too Nadine. Thanks for sharing part of your journey here. I love the idea of self-love in action. Really, I love any concept IN ACTION. To me, that’s where the growth is.

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  6. Pingback: Inspiring Quotes and Other Beautiful Posts ~ Dreampack

      1. I’ve keep thinking of this article, really love it. This line ‘like attracts like’, made me think of ‘opposites attracts’, which I believe happens for a reason. It will provide you a mirror and even could keep you balanced. I can be very impulsive and ‘explosive, my husband keeps me grounded with his calm personality. I like his quality, so yes..like attracts like and also opposite attracts.
        Again, magnificent post. XxX

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      2. Yes, I agree about both ideas Patty. In fact, I’ve been listening to something by Gregg Braden where he explains the 7 Essene Mirrors. The basic premise is that anyone who’s close to you is someone who mirrors your thoughts in some way. It’s a bit of a dry talk (and old) but interesting.

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      5. As always, I feel I could talk for hours with you, hahaha Although…I am started to get the feeling it is not necessary at all 😉 (as in, we get each other ) Wishing you a wonderful weekend, hugs and XxX

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  9. That’s a beautiful post, friend! Thank you so much for letting us know the value of knowing better. Anyways, I am going to try my best to bring out the best in me this year. And I wish you all the best, too! Keep inspiring!!

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  10. Happy New Year, Kathy! I find your post very encouraging, and I especially like this thought, “You learn that people will be comfortable with who you are, or they will not. Either scenario is fine.”

    I’m looking forward to reading your upcoming book on daddy issues. It sounds intriguing. I hope it will be available on paperback as this year I’ve decided to support indie authors by buy their paperbacks instead of eBooks for sentimental value, of course. 🙂

    As for making changes this year, I say one has to grow!

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    1. Thanks Khaya! Oh most definitely about other people. I had to learn that over sooo many years. At some point, it’s like…hmmm yeah, they’ll be okay and I will be too lol

      Looking forward to your read. I will have a paperback version, just like The Unhappy Wife, so I really will be following up to see how you liked it.

      Best of luck growing. Although, I suppose sometimes we don’t have a choice in the matter. And HAPPY NEW YEAR to you 😉

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  11. Kathy, a wonderful thought-provoking post – I love your sentiments here and have read them a couple of times. Yes, the first step is knowing better! Good luck with your latest book…how exciting! Warmest wishes for a successful, creative 2018; a year of knowing better! 😀

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  15. Kathy, this is such a gentle and compassionate post. What a loving encouragement for each of us to step into the wisdom of our authentic self. I love it and YOU.
    Funny I just responded to your comment on my blog, inviting you to contribute to Forgiving Fridays. I’d like to reiterate that invitation if you are so called!! This post is magnificent and very eye-opening for forgiving ourselves for judging.

    Anyway, Kathy, Happy New Year – much loving and joy to you and your family. ❤
    Debbie

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    1. Thank you Debbie! I’m glad you’ve recognized that. Sometimes the words just pour out; this is one of those times 😉 Love you too! I’ll be contributing on purpose this year. I keep mulling around an idea in my head, so it’s coming.

      Happy New Year to you too!

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  17. Wow, I quoted the same thing in my Happy New Year post, but only gave it a nod. You’ve entirely unpacked it here. I may just need to go back and link that post to yours!! So good. I need to reread a few times 🙂

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  20. Public and private personas… what a quandary. I think not just a few are moving into the simply being position this year. Be true to yourself. Others will like it or hate it… but that’s not your problem.

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      1. It’s not built yet. It is in the process of being constructed. Do have patience. When it arrives, it will be thejobblog.net. Hopefully soon. You’re not the only one asking. 🙂

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  21. I quite like the idea of being different in different scenarios, Kathy. I don’t think you always need to be the same person you are in private as in public – it’s entertaining and amusing to surprise others occasionally (as long as you’re not coming across as hypocritical and duplicitous) – so boring (although maybe comfortable) when people think they know you. 🙂 I love enigmatic and mysterious …
    ps. Good luck with the publication – can’t wait to read it! 🙂
    pps. Happy New Year!

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    1. Happy New Year Marie! Yeah, for me, even though it wasn’t duplicitous, it just got to be exhausting and then people are super surprised, when for example, they find out I use a cuss word or three in a sentence lol But I do understand what you’re saying.

      Thanks for the well wishes 🙂 ❤

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  22. Thank you Kathy for a lovely post. Yes, I do believe we do better once we learn to speak open and true.
    To dare be ourselves without any fake facades. It also frees a lot of energy.
    I believe that everyone who meets honesty will feel comfortable. That does not allow us to ever be rude
    or hurt. Remember the wisdom in silence.
    Miriam

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    1. Thanks Miriam! I hope you’re having a happy new year on this first day 😉 I agree that being oneself, no matter the occasion is LIBERATING, or at least it has been for me lol and yes, for sure sometimes we must discern when to just be quiet.

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    1. Yes! I think Kelly (I don’t know if you follow her blog – black-burgundy) said there’s like a 12 second window where if we don’t act, then we won’t. Seems like a short timeframe, but I think there’s some truth in at least writing it down and maintaining a thought. Best of luck this year!

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  27. Oh…I have so many things I would love to do in 2018 but I’m focusing on being more “selfish” to be more “self-full” with myself. And thanks KE…your words and posts have opened my eyes to the power of creative non-fiction!

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    1. Yes to selfishness and I like that word: self-full! Dwight and I have lots of conversations about how being selfish has a negative connotation, but we all are at some point…might write about that later. Anywho, I’m so glad my words have helped in some way. Looking forward to see what that self-fullness manifest for you in 2018 😉

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  28. My Dad used to say that all the time. To Know Better is to do Better. My only goals/plans for 2018 is to Retire and move to cheaper housing. I believe my health will approve once I get away from my stressful job.

    Move to less expensive housing.

    Ongoing is always taking care of Stephen.

    Lesser goals ~ The return of my which was December 30th. I wrote many of the blog posts in advance so most of January is done. I revamped the blog. Writing though I enjoy it takes a lot out of me which is why I dropped out and focused more on photography. Even though many of my readers think I should write a book I’m not going to engage in anything too labor intensive.

    Continue the focus on photography. Last year I was able to get some of my photos displayed at the coffee shop across the street from my house. Once spring comes and the weather gets warmer I plan to visit more Brooklyn Coffee shops and get my photos displayed.

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    1. I’ll have to check out the other blog! I keep forgetting you were maintaining two. How cool is it that your photography is showcased in a Brooklyn coffee shop??? Do people buy it there too, or is it just for viewing? Best of luck as you continue to care for your brother, Stephen! I know that’s a HUGE part of your life, and it’s one that I admire. I wish more of us were that devoted to at least one other person.

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  31. Old habits of negativity or doubting oneself are indeed hard to break as I discovered this morning. I will begin my new writing habit this morning and hope to continue for my planned project. Best wishes on finding the perfect academic assignment. I thing you narrowed it down better by stating “the right educational system.” And then praying a new change of administration doesn’t change the rules. Anyway, lets be positive and proactive. Best wishes.

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    1. Positivity and proactivity are definitely (for me) the right direction. I wish you well as you doubt less and write more. I don’t know if you follow Debbie’s blog, https://forgivingconnects.com/ but she posts about forgiving oneself in different ways. I think you might like it. Thanks for the well wishes. I’ll be keeping everyone posted on my progress 😉

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