Behind the Kwote: Today’s Choices

~ kegarland
choices_experiences
Kwoted. ©2015. K E Garland All Rights Reserved.

A friend of mine, who is more like a little sister, found herself pregnant with someone who she probably wouldn’t have consciously chosen to father her child. Her mom didn’t understand how it happened. She questioned how her daughter could have gotten pregnant, especially considering all of the twenty-something years of sage advice she’d provided. Her friends were disappointed; many of them had planned out their lives, as some of us do when we’re younger. They’d determined this wasn’t the path hers should take. I listened to each judgment and tried my best not to add my own. While everyone attempted to figure out how this happened, the answer seemed so simple to me: today’s choices determine tomorrow’s experiences.

It wasn’t just true for my friend’s unplanned pregnancy; it was part of my story as well. I was trying to figure out how I ended up with a road trip sized commute to work. The answer was the same. Reaping what you sow isn’t a new concept. But it seems every now and then we wake up wondering how did I get here, in this space, with this experience? The reality is whatever you’re focused on today will build future benefits or future challenges. So, it’s best to get in tune with who you are and what you really want so that you’ll be able to make conscious decisions with which you can live.

73 thoughts on “Behind the Kwote: Today’s Choices”

  1. The last statement is so true: The reality is whatever you’re focused on today will build future benefits or future challenges. So, it’s best to get in tune with who you are and what you really want so that you’ll be able to make conscious decisions with which you can live. – I can relate to your friend. I didn’t become pregnant, but I got married someone who no one thought I would marry. It was just a deep desire to be married, without consciously thinking about the future with this person. Sadly (but happily) we divorced within 7 months (legally it took longer). That’s where your last line comes in, focusing on thing that will build my future, instead of people that are for a moment. Thank you for sharing. Charlene – https://faithtoraisenate.com

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    1. I think that’s many of our stories. We have the deep desire (for fill in the blank), but we’re not consciously thinking about what we’re getting into at the time, and then, well…you know the rest lol

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  4. Our life is like a web; with each decision we make, we weave our tomorrow. We create our life with the choices we make. Our decisions have a direct impact on what we experience, both positive, and negative. A well constructed web shall attract favorable results, whereas a poorly constructed web shall reap unfavorable ones. Ultimately, we hold the pen; we are the author of our own lives. Self awareness is vital. Whilst it is important to learn from one’s mistakes, it is also important to be kind to yourself; everyone makes mistakes. You are human. It is not how you begin the race that is most important, it is how you finish it! Thank you so much for this article, K E Garland!

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    1. Thanks so much for these words; I agree with them all. I thought I’d responded to this days ago, but I guess not. I find that happening quite a bit (must’ve replied in my mind lol). At any rate, I do wish we were taught this earlier in life. Then, perhaps we’d learn to think before we speak and act, thus creating happier-filled lives…I think 😉

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      3. Ah yes … it is one thing to be taught something earlier in life, but I wonder how many of us take notice of the things/lessons we are taught earlier in life? I think lessons learned are the ones you teach yourself, rather than the ones ‘others’ teach us sometimes … not always … but sometimes …:)

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      4. I agree, not always, but sometimes. I do think that we learn from whatever lessons we pay attention to, if that makes sense. In that way, it can be from others or yourself. For me, it’s been a little of both.

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      5. Absolutely! Yes we learn from the “lessons we pay attention to”. At times in my youth, I did some crazy things which when I think back, I realise I didn’t see the lesson and therefore paid no attention to it. Some of us are good at learning and paying attention whilst others just never learn.

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  5. Excellent post, Kathy. It reminded me of a sappy version of a quote I saw some time ago. The original by Jean-Paul Sartre says “Life is C between B and D-Choice between Birth and Death.” Choice is a powerful thing I didn’t much appreciate when I was younger. Thankfully with age came some wisdom.

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  6. Rarely do we realize our present consciousness determines our physical estate, and not the other way around. How could the unseemly happen? It all begins with a look inside, because all that is outside is little more than a mirror of that which is within.

    If one is about to unexpectedly birth a new consciousness, it may play out in unexpectedly birthing a new conscious soul.

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    1. I’ve noticed what you say at the beginning. I’m pretty sure we’re not taught to look within first. Also, it’s funny you should mention the outside being a mirror. I’ve been watching something about the 7 Essene Mirrors that thoroughly explains that.

      Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting.

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      1. You are welcome! I was drawn to this post somehow. I’m working on a consciousness project, and your post has confirmed my research once again.

        Thanks for posting. Inspiring thoughts indeed.

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  9. I am reminded of that song by the Talking Heads: you may wake one day and you may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and you may ask yourself ‘how did I get here?’ Sometimes song lyrics express more than we can: the parody of human nature and one which my friends and I danced to laughing all the way in our college dorm in Long Island so many decades ago. The question is still being asked and we appreciate the lyrics much later in life.

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  10. Ol’ sage advice is timeless. It’s funny how we need it repeated over and over again. Thanks for saying it yet again. I needed to be reminded myself.

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  11. Dr.Garland! I love this post. This month I’ve been really honing in on my goals and actually taking small steps to accomplish them. Instead of sitting around, daydreaming – I’m actually “doing.” Last year I was deep in thought about my goals but didn’t take any real strides to accomplish them. And when the year ended, I had very little to show for it. Not this year…I’m taking on my goals with full force!

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    1. Glad to hear Josie! You know you don’t have to call me Dr. Garland, right? But it’s up to you lol

      It’s great that you see beyond the two stories I’ve shared here. What you’ve said is part of the point. If you want different scenery, then you’ll have to make some different choices. That’s how change happens. Best of luck with STAYING focused.

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  12. This reminded me of what I asked my wife yesterday while sitting on the couch. I asked her I wonder what we would be doing right now if we didn’t have children. I enjoyed this post!

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  13. I love the very last line of this post, Kathy. It’s exactly what I’m looking to do this coming year. I’ve already made some choices over the past couple of weeks that could potentially alter my future. It’s super scary, but at the same time it feels right. I’m finally starting to take control of my life. I hope your friend has a healthy baby and that things turn out okay.

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  14. I really believe in ‘everything happens for a reason’…At the moment you think ‘how the heck did I got myself where I am right now’, I think it’s wise to look back at every step you took and most likely there were a lot of lessons you had to learn…Those lessons will help you decide which path to follow next…
    Didn’t read all comments, but while I am typing I see Joan’s comment above mine…yep, that’s my take on this too 🙂

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  15. We get swept up in the flow of things, daydreaming instead of watching the road, and all of a sudden… BAM. Of course, sometimes going back is impossible. You just have to survey where you are RIGHT NOW and figure out what path serves you best at this point. Thanks for another thoughtful post, KE. 🙂

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  19. Sometimes, it takes situations like this for people to “wake up” and realize that their actions do have irreversible outcomes, whether good or bad. Now it is up to her to decide whether she will learn, grow, and prosper from this event, or whether she will allow it to become a setback from which she will use as an excuse when things don’t go right for her later in life.

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      1. That is good. I know some that have done just the opposite, which resulted in a series of poor choices and excuses. “Mistakes” happen, small or large, but we don’t have to allow these “mistakes” to define us. We can turn them into something positive, especially something as precious as new life.

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  20. This post is very timely for me, today, so thank you! I just want to add that “getting in tune with who you are and what you really want” is dynamic – as we evolve and change….I’m thinking here about not spending too much time kicking ourselves when we find ourselves living in those “future challenges” you pointed out; I’ve spent a lot of miserable time doing that!

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    1. Leslie, this is so true. We berate ourselves so much and then it seems to just create another round of poor choices, as we sometimes believe whatever the little voice in our head is saying.

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  22. So true — sometimes in a situation like this we fall into acceptance, and that’s important, too, because there’s no turning back when you’re pregnant, no matter what choice you make, but to move forward most effectively we should always be aware of what got us where we are today.

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  25. Thank you !! I needed that reminder today, to consciously co-create my life.
    I do think that sometimes we have an opportunity to make course corrective choices … and to pray for grace 🙂 Anyway, have a blessed weekend.

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