Monday Notes: Haiku #3 (Love)

Haiku #3

img_4159Sometimes a Haiku comes to me as a result of a specific thought. I work through it in my Notes section until it’s as clear as possible. This one came from the phrase, “I can love that person…but from a distance.” This phrase always seemed not loving to me at all. Tell me what you think about the Haiku or the phrase.

 

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54 thoughts on “Monday Notes: Haiku #3 (Love)

  1. Great post. I love a friend from a distance. We had a falling out a couple of years ago and I tried to make amends and talk and she never returned my call. I didn’t unfriend her on Facebook and she didn’t unfriend me. We wish each other happy birthday and like each other’s posts. I’ll always love her, but maybe we just weren’t meant to be close anymore. When I heard that her grandmother had died I reached out to her on Facebook to let her know that I am sorry for her loss and share memories of her grandmother.

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  2. Haiku is my favourite form of poetry. It says so much in so few words.

    I think it’s sometimes necessary to love someone from a distance, depending on the situation. For example, if a family member is toxic, then, by all means, maintain a loving distance.

    Thanks for the food for thought, Katharin.

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    1. I like it too Nadine. It helps me practice being concise ๐Ÿ˜‰ I do understand protecting one’s emotions and energy from toxicity, but I do wonder when people “love” this way, if they do some other active type of love?

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  3. Love is difficult in the retrospect of hurt places. Healing is a process. So I believe when a person states I love you but from a distance…there’s a part that is not completely healed and over time it can become a soft spot (like the top of a babies head that has to grow closed.) That’s when the person wants too achieve or is practicing their form of a Christ-like love for self-protection until they are able to truly love. I am speaking in regards to friendships, relationships past and future. Awesome question!

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    1. Come through licensed professional ๐Ÿ˜‰ This makes a lot of sense to me. It really has more to do with the person’s healing process than anything else. They probably have a hard time saying, as Marie said, that they really don’t love them or something has happened to create a riff and they can’t get past it. Thanks for that Michelle!

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  4. A great haiku, Kathy and it’s interesting to see your work process and different variations on the theme! The first point that strikes me is the word that is not written but implied, if ONLY from a distance. If one cannot love when in close contact than I would question if that is love. Otherwise love as always can take so many formats, crossing all barriers including distance…but it can be hard.

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    1. Thanks Annika! You’re right, actually. I think this would’ve made my point clearer because (of course) I think you can love someone no matter the distance, that’s not the question, really. My question was can you ONLY love someone from a distance. Now I’m off to figure out how to revise with the word “only” lol

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  5. Hi Kathy, how are you? This is so true. Although, there have been times when I had no choice but to love from a distance. Like for instance, a family member who got it in for you. You do it for to have peace. Other times, it’s to grow the love and to grow spiritually. I hope I’m not rambling. Lol. Those are a few I can say.

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    1. Heeeey PAM! I’m good girl. I definitely understand separating from some people for peace of mind, and I’ve learned (since I posted this) that people are saying “love” like the emotion, but I think I mean more so like actively loving someone. You are not rambling girl. I get it lol

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  6. I think it’s hard to admit that you don’t or can’t love someone. If you are unable to love someone for whatever reason – they do things that make it difficult for you to love them – you might think it’s one way of dealing with the situation by saying that you ‘love them from a distance’. This to my mind is not loving someone at all. There are some that think that you should tolerate and accept bad behaviour from a loved one to show that you do indeed love them. Neither of these (for me personally) are examples of a loving concern for someone.
    To my mind, loving someone means that you care for that person very deeply and that you will be there to support them. You can’t do this from a distance if you don’t really like them and prefer not to be around them. I realise that I’m being pretty black or white with no shades in between here, but for me, you either love someone or you don’t. It isn’t a crime to admit that you find it difficult to love someone if they make it impossible for you to do so.
    But you can be concerned for someone and want good and positive things for them even if you don’t love them. And perhaps this is what some people might mean by ‘loving someone from a distance’.

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    1. I do believe you’ve hit the nail on the head Marie. That’s part of the challenge for some, actually admitting that you cannot or DO not love someone. In my opinion, THAT part is okay because at least you’re being honest with yourself and the other person, but saying I love you…but over there, well, I’m just not totally convinced about the concept yet.

      Strangely, I’ve just drafted a similar comment about tolerating and accepting bad behavior from family. I think it sets people up for strained relationships, not just with family, but with ALL relationships…it kind of filters over and through.

      Anywho, I say all of this to say…I agree Marie ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  7. I needed to put distance literally and emotionally between me and people in my family. Although no longer we connect, have contact, that doesn’t mean I stopped loving them. It is the only way we all can continue to be ourselves and be happy.
    XxX

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    1. PATTY! So glad to see you back visiting my dear! I understand what you’re saying about the space, but my follow-up question (hope it’s not too nosy) is do you do something else to show that you love them. I suppose I’m asking about the action part, not the feeling part.

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      1. Missed you too dear Katherin ๐Ÿ˜‰
        After several times trying to communicate and/or be together in various ways, I decided to step out of the negative circle, breaking a never-ending pattern. If people don’t take responsibility for their part, or denying your feelings, than to me, it becomes impossible to maintain a healthy relationship. As hard as it is, sometimes you just have to give up. I just recently realized, I tried for almost 12 years to better those relationships. Enough is sometimes really enough ๐Ÿ˜‰

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      2. A totally different thought just popped up in my head…I don’t know you in person (as in we never met in person), there is a huge ocean between us, but I do love you. So, for me, distance really doesn’t have to mean, you can’t still love a person ๐Ÿ™‚

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  8. Loving from a distance is almost oxymoronic. Love is not only an emotion, it is the art of connecting and communicating through physical contact. So, is loving from a distance, basically toleratin?

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    1. It makes sense to me Joan, and sometimes it doesn’t. I get that you have to protect yourself (psychologically), and so we use the phrase, “I’ll have to love him/her from a distance,” but at the same time, I always envision it as not a very loving act towards the person. No judgment to you or anyone else who functions like this…I really am just thinking here ๐Ÿ˜‰

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      1. I’m 97% introvert, so being around anyone for too long is stressful, even if I love them dearly, and even if everything goes off without a hitch. A lot of people take it the wrong way, like I’m aloof or I don’t like them. Not true, I just need to recharge my batteries. I also hate small talk (which visits, esp infrequent ones, tend to be filled with) and would prefer a heartfelt letter or phone call any day. I accept them for who they are and expect them to accept me for who I am.

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      2. Totally understand what you’re saying here, especially about not liking small talk. I’ve had the same judgments made about me, when really, it’s more like, I don’t feel like talking about the weather or Trump, unless we are figuring out why people are ignoring climate change or how he was elected lol

        What you’ve described here is understandable because there’s another action that replaces the small talk visit.

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  9. Great haiku, Dr. G. I think you must love from a distance to keep your peace sometimes. You need to let people grow away from you if they’re bringing toxicity or harm to your space. That is not loving less, just protecting yourself in the process.

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    1. Thanks Kelley! I’ve heard people say that before and this kinda prompted my question. I totally understand what you’re saying, and I’m all for protecting one’s own energy and space, but I wonder if when people function like this, do they replace seeing the person with something else that shows love? Know what I mean?

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      1. Yes? I think so?

        For example, I have adult cousins that are extremely narcissistic and can talk about themselves for days without asking you about you unless the question can somehow curve back around to them. BUT I still check on them to make sure they’re good. They won’t get any invitations to visit though; I just cannot do it.

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  10. Sure you can love from a distance. You can love family or friends in a different state from a distance. Loving someone intimately from a distance is different. It’s different talking on the phone all day/night long versus living with that person. I believe loving someone intimately is more of a strong like, a lust, a dream.

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    1. Totally agree that distance doesn’t change how much you love someone, if you love them, but you know that phrase, “I’ll have to love him/her from a distance”? What’s that all about?

      And yes yes! I actually think many strong emotions we experience are dream-like, if not flat out illusions.

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      1. Flat. Out. Illusions. YESSS. Lol I agree.
        Now, the phrase “Loving them from a distance.” to me means that person gets on your everlasting nerves! Being around them drives you crazy ( if not pull your hair out and drink!) , so you love them from a far. Lolol That’s me and my mom. Ha! I call her Crazy Lady because when I am around her she does crazy things! Like one time she wanted Starbucks on our way home. No problem. She told me what she wanted, Tall Caramel frappachino with extra caramel, the entire ride. Once there, I told her to stay in the car and I would go inside. As I am getting out of the car, she says “Tall caramel frappachino with extra caramel.” Ok. As I am getting ready to close my car door behind me, she says “Tall caramel frappachino with extra caramel!” “Got it, Madrรฉ.” As I am walking away, almost at the door, my mom’s passenger window comes down and stops halfway. “CARAMEL FRAPPACHINO WITH EXTRA CARAMEL!!!”, she screams out the window at me. ๐Ÿ˜ณ See. Crazy Lady. So, loving her from a far is ALLLLL I can do. Lolol

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  11. I strongly believe in love from a distance because with grief, we must find a way to hold onto our love even though the physical presence of our beloved is gone. Love doesn’t die.
    Very thought provoking post, Kathy!

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    1. So I hadn’t thought of that Judy. You’ve taken this (pleasantly) to a whole nother level of thinking. Just because someone is physically gone, doesn’t mean that the love also leaves. Great point.

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  12. To love from a distance is a greater love than most especially when the only communication is the written word or a voice on the phone. You tend to make every moment count.

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