Monday Notes: Random Thoughts πŸ’­Β 

Sometimes I keep notes of random thoughts I intend to develop into more in-depth blog posts. They never quite make it. Here are a few varied ideas that I’ll probably never write about in detail.

img_3191Here in the States, especially in the south, state prisoners don their orange jumpsuits and work on the highway or street. I can never tell what they’re doing because the imagery is too strong. Because of the disproportionate number of Black male prisoners and the high number of white correctional officers, these scenes oftentimes look like a white overseer of Black slaves. It bothers me.

img_3192Last year was the hottest summer on record. Every beach day, my skin felt as if it might peel off. It’s never felt like that before. My thoughts were confirmed by Rosaliene Bacchus. It really was the hottest summer on record. But it wasn’t just summer that was hot. This winter was unusually hot. Even though I live in North Florida where we typically have cooler weather, the past two years, I’ve worn shorts and short sleeve shirts a lot of the time. It was 90 degrees one β€œwinter day.” There was no discussion on the local or national news. The only words I kept hearing were β€œrecord high,” and I wondered if this was purposeful to keep people from thinking about the impact of global warming.

img_3193Do you do this? Do you call people selfish because they don’t do what you want them to do? I’ve done it before. My cousin came to Florida to β€œvisit me” but spent all his time with his girlfriend. I crowned him the King of Selfish. But as I write this I’m wondering, who am I to judge his selfishness? It happens. Sometimes we do what we want to do, with little regard for anyone else. If I was going to flesh this out, then I’d revise it to suggest this: Don’t make people feel bad because they don’t do what you want them to. People can do whatever they want.

img_3194Since The Unhappy Wife released, I’ve found myself having several conversations about relationships. I don’t mind it at all because I’m learning a lot about how and why people choose romantic partners. One common reason for women is financial security. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be secure, but I always have a bunch of rhetorical questions. Why don’t you make your own financial security? Wouldn’t that leave more space for love and stuff? What will happen if the husband loses his job? What if he doesn’t work for years because the economy is bad? Will you leave? I never ask people these questions. I just jot down my notes and keep my mouth shut.

I rarely write such randomness. Let me know if you have any comments about this hodgepodge of notes .

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95 thoughts on “Monday Notes: Random Thoughts πŸ’­Β 

  1. I think about the association between slavery and prisoners when I pass them on the road doing community service as well. But…it’s what they are, unfortunately. Whether we like it or not, they are owned by the system and its horrible.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, Kathy. You’ve got some good ideas and observations listed in this post. As we know, the thinking/writing processes take unexpected turns sometimes, so the moments might come when you decide to flesh out one or more of these ideas.
    Take care – – –

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi dear Katherin πŸ™‚
    The prisoner -situation…I’ve read somewhere that ‘white’ people are in the minority in the USA. Maybe that is why there are more ‘black’ people long-side those streets? However, at the same time, I find it very strange there are not more ‘black’ people in authority functions. Even not being ‘Afro’, I truly get why this bothers you, because racism is still very ‘alive’. There are even places on our globe where slavery still exist!
    Writing this the thought pops up; is it because we keep talking about ‘white’, ‘black’?
    Because the amount of people (regardless their skin-color) in prison…that troubles me too. ‘We’ as human do something wrong, if we still feel we haven’t progressed. Personally, I don’t like the way we’ve evolved. And I don’t understand why ‘we’ don’t do more to change ‘things’ like this for the better.

    Global warming is indeed also a very real problem. People who deny this, I believe just won’t give up their luxury. Ironically, we don’t have too…we just have to do simple things, like use the shower a bit shorter, not always take the car, wear a sweater more often or only use the airco at really really hot days.

    About the selfish-thing; another way might also be in communicate better your expectations. To use your example; did you ask your cousin what his plans were, during his visit? Then you would have know and you didn’t have to feel disappointed. And at the same could ask him to schedule some quality-time with you too.
    But, yes, I also agree with your thought; don’t make another one feel bad…So, I hope I didn’t with my comment πŸ˜‰

    Oh wait..the financial-marriage topic. We have only one income, from my husbands job. However, we agreed upon this together; we decided this, because I stay at home to take care of our mentally handicaped dog. Since my husband is educated at a higher level as me and thus could get a better payed job, to us it is only logical he works.
    So, I don’t feel I gave up my financial independence, since we discuss what we do with OUR income. It is my second marriage, so although I hope to grow old together, I know their are no guaranties. Therefor I make sure, I keep myself educated about financial ordeals and other important topics to be able to make it on my own, if -again I hope it will never be necessary- I would need to do so.

    As you already know…I love to ramble, especially the philosophical one πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heeey Patty! Okay, so Black people are not the majority population here in the States, which is why it seems “odd” or racist that there is a disproportionate number of Black prisoners (men, in particular). It doesn’t add up. I don’t know why either. It seems that if enough people cared, then we’d be able to make progress.

      Agreed about global warming πŸ™‚

      Communicating expectations is a great idea. I’ve decided to just not have any though. That frees both him and me πŸ˜‰

      I think it’s great that you AND your husband decided together how best to proceed with finances. And if you don’t feel as if you’ve given anything up, then it’s a win-win. This sounds more like a logistical decision. Plus, (based on previous conversations) you sound like you and your husband LOVE each other ❀ I guess I was referring to women who replace love with a large income, in hopes of being happy. I'm almost sure that's not what you did lol Buuut, like my friend Mek said, even if you did, who are any of us to judge?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Katherin πŸ™‚
        Well I believe you without any doubt, so then it isn’t just ‘odd’, it’s just wrong! It makes me even more sad it still occurs Anno 2017 😦
        To be honest, as a little girl I dreamed of a big house, and a manager as a husband (because managers equaled lots of money in my eyes back then). We live in a big farmhouse and my husband was up till the beginning of this month global manager of QM…LOL…I was a silly girl,’cause – luckily – I know now; money doesn’t equals happiness…At least not in the way those women you mentioned believe.
        No, we shouldn’t judge, although…is it really judging? Or is it caring, being concerned for those women? Hm…not sure..
        Anyway, wishing you a lovely (Easter) Weekend. Big hug, XxX

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It makes me feel better knowing you do this too. I keep my random thoughts as “draft blogs” and have 44 in my pile right now. I bet over half of them never see the light of day. It might be because they are too emotional or too personal, but it also might be because I can’t quite get the story that goes with the feeling. One I really want to finish is around the importance of girls having female coaches, but everytime I start it the post devolves into a diatribe of my hurt feelings about being discounted as a woman coach. (Not the idea, selfish Johanna.) Anyway, I love this list because it gives insight into your writing process and your values, but just a hint. Also, it may help you gauge where people want to read more and give you the oomph to flesh out one of your ideas. Oh, and yeah, with regards to that selfish thing, I do what you do, but to myself. See parenthetical phrase above. Also, the image of slavery in the roadside cleanup isn’t just you. I see it too and it creeps me out.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Something tells me you should finish the female coaches one and make it from the angle of your hurt feelings, BUT I understand everyone’s style isn’t like mine. I’ve also learned that emotions are really hard to write about, but sometimes those are the best to get the point across. lol You guys have those workers in CO too??? Ugh!

      I’m not sure it’s selfish to write about how you felt about something, but take my opinion with a grain of salt lol I mean, I’m the writing about how I feel about something lady πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, feelings are SO HARD to write about, you got that right. You are very good at it though. Maybe I’ll do what I do, write two posts from both perspectives. I like multi-blog opportunities.

        We have workers like that in Colorado, but there is usually a variety of shades of brown skinned people in orange with white skinned overseers. It’s creepy.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks Johanna! I was going to remind you about the other two posts, but I didn’t. Sometimes I have to stop myself from going into to “educator mode.”

        I do want to say that I go by that Anne Lamott (sp?) quote about if people wanted to be remembered fondly, then they should’ve done better, or something like this. The way I see it…it was what it was. People don’t get to dictate how you felt about something they did. The other thing is I literally do not care about what other people have to say about what I’ve written about our past interactions. It’s not in a negative way, though. It’s just like yeah…that’s what happened lol

        Sheesh! That’s even worse to me. It’s like a spectrum of brown overseen by white, representing oppression in one fell swoop. :-/

        Like

  5. Great thoughts! Sounds like my head while I’m in the shower. How comes I always get the best thoughts when I don’t have a pen and paper with me? Going to have to look into a waterproof smartphone. Hmm. Maybe I would be better off getting a dryer life. What? Me? Cynical? Hmm.
    Have a beautiful day.
    Kindness – Robert.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for replying so kindly to my random and relatively incoherent message yesterday. I had eaten too much chocolate all in one go. πŸ™‚
        Have a good one.
        Kindness – Robert.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Maan, but you have some deep and involved conversations here! I was just scanning down … there was one that was so long that you fell asleep half way through, or had to sleep on it (although those two things could quite well be synonymous). πŸ™‚
        It all makes me feel rather inadequate actually.
        Totally joking, of course.
        Hope you’re smiling today.
        Kindness – Robert.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Working on it. πŸ™‚
        The biggest problem is getting people to understand that I find it difficult to concentrate when they are continually walking in and out asking me how it is going and reading over my shoulder. Kind of breaks the flow. *puts frustrated face on*
        How’s your day going? Humming along I hope. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Haha #writerproblems I have similar issues, execpt my family tends to just ask all kinds of questions that have nothing to do with what I’m writing lol Day is well. Today is my oldest daughter’s prom, so we were all consumed with that.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Wheee – you must be so proud! Hope the prom goes (went) well. πŸ™‚
        Just keep calm and at least your conscience will be clear at the end. πŸ˜€
        Kindness – Robert.

        Like

  6. Legit randome thoughts. It has bothered me for years seeing the prisoners working on the side of the roads. There has to be something else they can do other than that. We’re Florida bound right now. Destin in fact. Lennon needs a vaca! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Great random thoughts. I probably got some stored in my notes too. Sounds like a blogger thing to do. lol I truly understand why the first note would be bothersome. Fortunately, I don’t see the same imagery as you do in the South but unfortunately, I am fully aware of the enslavement qualities of the prison system and how it functions. Truly sad and infuriating. This may sound silly but I’ve never thought too much about the record high being aligned with global warming but it’s an interesting thought to explore so thanks for sharing it. The selfishness post is another thought-provoking idea that can definitely humble most of us when we find ourselves upset when another person doesn’t do what we think they should be doing. And lastly, I agree with your statement about marriage, especially about getting your own financial security instead of depending on another because like you said, anything could happen and then what? And I am not even mad at anyone who decides to tie the knot to further an empire together (if the two parties know that’s the agreement) but to be so reliant on another for basic needs could do harm if things go left. Like you, I just hope that money don’t run out cause chile… the struggle is real. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with everything you’ve said here, so I hope the length of my response doesn’t equate to how much I have to say. You’ve said it best. I will say you’ve raised a good point about the marriage thing. If you and he are “building an empire together” then okay, but if you’re simply marrying so that you can be “taken care of” then I really do hope that lasts because marriage is so much more than acquiring someone else’s money smh

      Liked by 1 person

  8. According to Dr. Phil, if you marry for money, you’ll EARN every penny of it! LOL!!!!!
    Enjoyed those random thoughts.
    Glad you decided to share them and you know I feel ya on ALL that!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I agree, it looks like slavery and public shaming. Nothing wrong with prisoners working, but I think the focus should be on reducing re-offending rates and the best way to do that is through education and equipping them with employable skills to break the poverty cycle when they get out…also to raise their self worth. But then the prison industry has a lot to gain by keeping these people institutionalised (read: slaves of the system).

    Climate change- well- I see the issue as being a lack of dialogue and media focus on the topic rather than a problem with using ‘record’. The wording really is significant to make the compelling case that climate change is real. Here (and around the world) we’re breaking records all the time- much more reliable to make the point with quantifiable (and recorded) data than anecdotal evidence of people remembering that such and such a fruit used to have a longer season or summer holidays at granny’s were never this hot etc. I guess where I work (we are the weather people πŸ˜‚), the news I read and the professional networks I have are highly focused on climate change so I’m not sure how the average person perceives the media they choose but yes, there should be more said than just ‘record high’…but then again how about the responsibility of the individual to go seek information and understand what that means. Google’s search capacity is not limited to GoT or the Kardashians *sigh* btw- that’s a general comment to the sleeping masses, not you.

    The selfishness thing- I’m with you- nothing wrong with how someone else chooses to spend their time – the offended one needs to release expectations and perhaps even reasses the relationship if it is so bothersome…

    Marrying for money- bonus points for the honesty of people saying this- again, perhaps suspend judgement…it is no worse than any other reason people marry- lonliness, social pressure, wanting to have a child etc etc…Also maybe the loaded man or woman uses their fortunes as a way to attract their mate and stop short of giving themselves. I think we are constantly growing and learning about love while in a relationship, and whatever pulled us in isn’tΒ  necessarily what makes us stay (for better or worse).

    Those ‘…few varied ideas that…’ that you’ll ‘…probably never write about in detail.’ Haha πŸ˜‚ I’m betting you will, but it will be in the comments thread. Too much content in this ‘hodgepodge’ not to get some juicy comments. Actually- I see what you’ve done- you got your unsuspecting readers to write about it in detail!

    Re: notes- A lot of my stories and poems first see the light of day in my phone memo as do comments to blog posts when I’m on the train and don’t have reception (like now πŸš‚). My shopping lists over the years are all here too- might start a ‘thursday trolley tour’ feature on my blog! Seriously…like that time I had to buy- oh, never mind…

    Longest comment on record since….

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your comment was so long, I had to sleep on it lol Just kidding Mek! Here are some answers:

      Our prison system is not designed for any of that. What you’ve mentioned seems to take into account that prisoners are people. American prison system doesn’t seem to believe that. Our country sets up systematic ways FOR people to be imprisoned and then treats them like crap.

      Yeah I figured and of course I’d never take offense. Depending on our occupations, perspective is narrow or wide about specific issues. I don’t wanna speak for ALL Americans, but I will say that most of us are not seeking out information (of any kind). We’re turning on the TV or logging in and listening to what’s put in front of us (hence Donald Trump’s win, but I digress lol). With that said, that’s why I suspect changing the language will at least make people think a little more. Also, here there’s a person who changes words to create a different feeling. Can’t think of the name of the person. But for example, it’s the reason we now say climate change, as opposed to global warming; there’s a different, lighter connotation.

      In terms of my cousin (and others), that’s exactly what I’ve decided. I’m responsible for my feelings and inner peace. I have zero expectations of him specifically, and even if he says, “I’m coming to see you,” now I’m like great and let things go as they may.

      Yeah, didn’t MEAN to come off as judgmental. The note itself is really commentary on something I don’t understand. Kind of like having a narrow or wide view about other issues, this one is one that baffles me because of my own perspective on living my life. I can’t imagine wanting to depend on another person on purpose for finances; I’m too independent for that behavior. I agree that marrying for money is no worse than the things you named. In fact, I’d add it to the list of reasons you should not marry someone because things typically don’t fare well for people who marry for those reasons. Typically.

      Waiting on your Thursday Trolley Tour posts πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Frank Luntz- I just looked him up. I read blah blah blah, conservative pollster, newt gingrich blah blah Fox News ugh. Someone like that should be working on the road side away from positions of influence. In an interview on PBS’s Frontline, he is quoted as saying his specialty is “…testing language and finding words that will help his clients sell their product or turn public opinion on an issue or a candidate.” There has to be something to counter this and the ‘alternative truth’s’ that are fed to the masses. Maybe the weather reports should state ‘catastrophic record high’

        Your cousin would annoy the hell out of me. Unless I really enjoyed his company (although it sounds like he doesn’t spend time with you to enjoy or otherwise), I’d say ‘No, don’t come, bye!’ I don’t think there are ever clear cut reasons why you should or shouldn’t marry someone. Each relationship is what it is and offers a chance for growth for both parties- that is, if they choose to rise to the challenge to grow.

        Don’t hold your breath on TTT posts haha, although my well has run dry of late, so I just might do that.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks Mek for finding the person! This is exactly who I was talking about. I do enjoy my cousin’s company, but just like any other relationship, I will not be treated like an afterthought. I think to highly of myself for that lol So, like I told Marie, at this point, if he wants to come through, then fine. If not, that’s fine too. I suppose we’ll just disagree about the marriage thing because I do think love is a worthy reason to marry someone. I honestly believe that if you (consciously/unconsciously) other reasons, then you’re risking an unhealthy marriage. I do, of course agree that any relationship offers a chance for growth, if either person chooses that path.

        I’m starting my breath holding now! Isn’t it Thursday??? lol

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I guess I’m coming at it from the perspective that failure is still valuable for the lessons it brings, i.e. so what if the marriage is unhappy- as long as the two people learn from it and move on if they can’t fix it? Yes, it’s thursday, but please breath! I am considering a post on a supermarket experience, but not really to do with shopping lists…stay tuned!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Very random and very good! Just about all your thoughts strike a chord with me. On the prison road crews, it does remind one of slavery. Why aren’t the Dept of Corrections trying to teach these men a trade for when they get out or teaching them school and college? And the big problem is that prisons are big business and make a lot of money for the local community. Making a profit off the grief and punishment of others… there’s something wrong with that.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Very interesting topics. I have to admit we can’t control what people choose to do…or think, but that doesn’t make it “right” when they “choose” to do something that you don’t like or appreciate (referring to the situation with your cousin)

    In regards to relationships, I would want my OWN security…AND my husband to be financially secure as well…and of course, Love & Compatibility….the WHOLE package πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree that it’s not necessarily “right” JL, but at the same, it’s like who am I to judge someone else’s behavior, you know?

      Girrrlll, me too! I can get my own money. I’m in a relationship for other reasons πŸ˜‰ Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

      Like

  12. Thanks for sharing the link to one of my climate change articles, Kathy.
    Black male prisoners in orange jumpsuits also bother me. It’s black slavery under another name. When cheap prison labor becomes a corporate business model, we will all one day be at risk.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re welcome Rosaliene! That article bothered me for months (as you can see). Quite honestly, I haven’t heard anyone over here mention the weather…at…all :-/

      Totally agree about the prison industrial complex; we’re all basically suspects and prisoners under this system and can be deemed so at any moment.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. If someone comes to ‘visit’ you and spends all their time with someone else, then I would regard that as not selfish, but inconsiderate. And I would be very hurt depending on how much I was looking forward to their ‘visit’. I think selfish means that you only think of yourself. Plainly, to me he wasn’t being considerate of your feelings and his priorities lay elsewhere. Of course one needs to do what they want to do in many circumstances, but I feel to negate your feelings completely in this particular situation is to almost say that you don’t feel you deserve to be treated well. Those are my thoughts and clearly I don’t want you to feel that I don’t ‘hear’ what you are saying, but I don’t think I agree with you here, Kathy. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think people can be both at the same time. People can be both inconsiderate AND selfish. In my mind, his actions were inconsiderate because he only thought about himself; consequently, making what he did selfish. Thanks for the last part Marie. You’re always welcomed to disagree with me here πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s not often I disagree with you Kathy. πŸ™‚ And I’m fiercely protective of my blogging buddies! lol Your cousin was both, but I also think that sometimes people just don’t ‘think’ and his inconsiderate and selfish actions may be the product of unintentional insensitivity. You of course are the best judge of that, but we’re not judging here, are we? LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes of course it is! And you’re quite right to ‘release expectations’ here. Some people are just ‘that way’ – they don’t mean you any harm. I’ve had a few experiences like that too – have you been out with someone at a party or something like that, and they leave you while they go and chat to everyone else? Had a couple of those – hey but it’s all good! LOL

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Hi Kathy, I actually really liked this. Especially the part about not judging people for not doing what you want them to do. Good one (and boy something that takes practice). Sending you blessings – and smiles – for a wonderful week. Love, Debbie ps – it’s my one year blogging anniversary!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Debbie! I think if we all stop to think about this, then we’re a little bit guilty. Everyone’s not going to do what we want, and it’s okay. It might not make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, but it’s okay lol

      HAPPY BLOGGING ANNIVERSARY! You’re full of celebrations these past few weeks πŸ™‚

      Like

  15. All are great thoughts, intriguing, each worthy of a post, I think. What IS the deal with the prisoners doing labor outside? Earning their keep? A perk for good behavior, to get to go out? Don’t all those “record highs” = global warming? I’ve been called “selfish” a lot since I began my artistic journey, for wanting time and space to myself, saying “no” to things I really don’t want to do… often wonder if I am crossing the line, and if I am, should it matter? I doubt most people marry strictly for a benefactor, but I’ll bet there are a lot of people who STAY in marriages for that reason. If you expand on these, I’ll be reading. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I have no earthly idea Joan. I wonder if it’s for the same reasons you’ve mentioned. I mean, who knows? Maybe the prisoners are happy to be out there.

      Aha about people calling you selfish…that’s part of what I’m saying!!! You’re selfish because you’re not spending time doing what they want you to do…hmmm.

      I don’t know Joan. There a few people who are actively seeking sugar daddies and the like lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes that is exactly what I meant Kathy! People can do what they like, but if you make a commitment I think you should honour it. And if you can’t you should at least explain why especially in the case of a family member. It’s not just honouring the commitment either, it is showing that you actually care.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. lol I used to send texts to myself or ask someone else to “text this to me right quick” before I lost a thought. Every since I switched to Apple, I’ve used that notes feature…that might help you keep track of them better. And thank you for stopping by, reading, and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha. Seriously those are some great random thoughts. And to be petty, I know you don’t waste food, but we know you spilled that yogurt Dr. Garland. You probably used all them napkins. Hahahaha

        Liked by 1 person

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