Mrs. Little from The Unhappy Wife book

unhappy-wifeMrs. Little was the second wife that I’d interviewed. Although she’d given me quite a few details about her marriage, what kept resurfacing were small anecdotes and feelings about her mother-in-law. She was voiceless, but in a much different way than either Jasmyne or Gina.

Her comments reminded me of Steve Harvey’s movie, Think Like a Man. In it he approaches how so-called “Mama’s boys” affect relationships, but I thought this was different because the mother-in-law’s actions were subtle, or like people like to say nowadays: petty.

Concept: Her husband, Mark knew how Mrs. Little felt, but she’d never really expressed herself to the mother-in-law. Quite honestly, I have issues with my own MIL that I’ve never shared, so I began to wonder what it would be like if Mrs. Little could tell Ms. Little everything she wanted to say over the past two decades. Then, I thought wouldn’t it be great if she wrote her a letter? Wouldn’t we all like to do that with someone, in a way where they don’t get to respond, but just read?

I also had fun using the epistolary format. It seemed that would break up the monotony of reading traditional narratives, yet still explain the past and present challenges with the relationship.

Commentary: I’ve never been a mother-in-law, but I have one and I’ve talked to a few. What seems to be challenging (sometimes) is accepting that their son is no longer a little boy, but rather a man with his own responsibilities. Essentially, it’s an issue with transitions and change that manifests through marriage. From my perspective, it seems that mothers want to still “mother” their sons, while either not embracing the daughter-in-law, or ignoring her altogether.

That doesn’t work.

And there was a twist for this story. Mark was using his military salary to pay his mother’s bills before he married. The mother-in-law had to not only deal with a new woman in her son’s life, but also not being financially taken cared of anymore. She’d lost a lot all at once. I’m not sure they’d ever discussed a plan for this change.

I tend to believe that conversations can heal all things. People underestimate the importance of sitting down, airing grievances, setting the stage to move forward, and then actually moving forward with a clearer understanding. I’m not saying this always works, but I do know that unacknowledged issues are rarely solved.

unhappy-wifeLet me know what you thought about Mrs. Little and Mark, what I’ve said here, or anything else that you felt was important. Next month, we’ll move on to the next section, The Detached Wife. Thom’s wife signed a waiver that doesn’t allow me to discuss the story in this format, so on to the next chapter we’ll go..

Interested in purchasing a copy and getting caught up to discuss the rest of the wives? Order here.

34 thoughts on “Mrs. Little from The Unhappy Wife book

  1. What I remember most about this story was the line about (paraphrasing) “seeing a 65 year old woman in her bra screaming for my husband in the hallway” I was dying lmao.

    I can relate to this entire dynamic. I think that when there is an emotional vacuum for some women that is not being met, one of the sons gets triangulated into this position as the “husband”. Seeing as some men want that affection from their mother, they rise to the occassion. Taking care of mom is no problem and becomes a normal pattern of relating. It then tips into a very psychosexual type of thing where it borders on incest in some ways. Freud would have a field day with this chapter. I can understand Mrs. Little getting upset. It was important to unsettle that mother-son bond because it was turning into a competition.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol you sound like Tareau, who has been MIA for a minute now. I digress. Yes. Mrs. Little was fed up with her MIL. I’m happy to report that said MIL DID NOT move in with them lol

      Riiight about the motional vacuum. The nearest man enters into the husband/daddy position, and then voila, an inappropriate relationship is born!

      I also think it’s hard enough for a man to confront his mother once he marries a woman, but then to add some other dynamic to the relationship just makes it even more difficult.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The man should ALWAYS make sure they set their mother straight before they make a woman their wife. That way everyone know their place.
    This book is so awesome! And hit on so many experiences people go through.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Omg omg omg I dated a mamas boy and it scarred me from ever dating one again. She blew up his phone so much, that I never questioned whether he was cheating…I knew it was mama. And he lived with her. I remember spending the night in their guest room once. He woke me up in the morning to say “I have to go to work but you can hang with my mom today if you want.” 😮😯😲😦😧😨😳

    Needless to say, I felt Mrs.Littles pain

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey your book arrived, I just haven’t started reading it yet. I am starting now, promise! Reading this post without reading the book yet makes me feel type naughty though. It makes me feel like I just read the “answers” to the test before actually taking it lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Response #1: Woot!
      Response #2: :-/ You and Lady G are on restriction until you finish the book! Just kidding lol I really want you to read it when you can. I think she reads one story each month once I post about it lol

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Mothers and theirs sons; it can be difficult indeed. Mine is nice to me, but we only communicate if I initiate it. I learned to let go, but honestly I think she still isn’t over the fact that one of her sons married a woman not only four years older, but divorced once and also didn’t wanted children of her own. Then we emigrated to another country (my doing, not the fantastic job offer her son got) and even now we moved closer to the border again…40 minutes drives seems to far. Well…
    Letters won’t always work: there is a thing called ‘receptive reading’, which not everyone is capable of in my experience 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oooohhh, you’re the bad wife who took her son away from her??? lol Just kidding Patty! But I do understand how people make up things in their heads about people and then hold a grudge, sometimes.

      My MIL is pretty much the same, in terms of talking to me. If I call her, she’ll hold a conversation, but I’m not holding my breath for her call.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Katherin, this is intriguing. My hubby is an only child, and I am wife number two. My MIL is very kind and respectful to me, so I can’t complain. I look forward to supporting this project though. Congrats again, sis.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loving this read! Buying the book!! I think your idea of writing the letter is genius and you are right the MIL lost a lot at once. Conversations have to be hand in every life change. Thank you for giving of yourself. Fan for life!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Awwwww and a million thanks A. Michelle! Yeah the letter was good because I know I’ve never said what I wanted to my own MIL, but if I could write a letter…lol girrrrlll so appreciate the support girl. Can’t wait to hear what you think!


  8. *Spoiler alert* so what messed me up about the Mrs. Little story is that she was the last person to learn that her MIL was coming to live with them – this, after MIL has spent two decades being negative towards the daughter-in-law (Mrs. Little)!!! Unh-unh, no, no, no, no NO!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. This, although messy, is common. I don’t blame the MIL, I blame Mark. He should have corrected his mom’s behavior from the start of the marriage. That would have put a stop to her (the MIL’s) behavior a long time ago.

    To many people (both male and female) allow their parents to interfere in their married life. I’ve heard people say you should never disrespect your parents no matter what. Well, its not disrespect. It’s called being an adult and taking care of your responsibility, which is your immediate family.

    It’s Marks mother who is disrespecting him and his marriage. If I were his wife I’d be disappointed with Mark for not putting a stop to his mom’s behavior.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I soooo agree! Initially, until you have a relationship with the MIL, then it’s the spouse’s “job” to step in and say, “Hey…” But the thing about Mark is that I don’t even think he realized what was really going on, although you can never tell with men. Sometimes they know, but just ignore, and sometimes they really are clueless, like huh? lol

      Either way, I think once the wife brings it to his attention, it’s his issue, not hers.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. This was one of the characters I really felt bad for. It was like a reverse Odepeus Rex complex. I felt the MIL was like “if I can’t have my son no one can” in a way. This was scary and I felt Mrs. Littles pain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah it was a weird kind of story that I hadn’t heard before. I mean I know people are mama’s boys or whatever but this was extreme and in-law relationships are already kind of awkward without these types of issues.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It did shed a big light on ladies who might be in these situations. Like what to look out for. I loved the part where Mrs. Little tells the MIL that there is only one Mrs. Little and your last name is (whatever her ex husbands name was) hahahahahaahah. I was rolling at that part

        Liked by 2 people

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