❤️ 3 Ways to Rethink your Valentine’s Day ❤️

~ kegarland

self_love2

I hope everyone is having a terrific Tuesday, and a wonderful Valentine’s Day, if you celebrate. Please check out my article on KPB Mag, 3 Ways to Rethink your Valentine’s Day. Responses appreciated either there or here 😉

 

60 thoughts on “❤️ 3 Ways to Rethink your Valentine’s Day ❤️”

  6. Pingback: Work At Love – A Thomas Point of View

  8. “Will you withhold love if any of these situations occur? That is the unconditional love conversation.” – I love how you explained this. It made it a lot easier to understand that loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean sacrificing your standards or expectations. I loved myself unconditionally this valentines day 🙂 – I found something about myself that I was struggling to love and found the beauty in it!

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    1. Thanks Josie! I actually did a FB post a couple years ago to flesh it out and understand the idea better. I think I asked people, “Does love have boundaries?” With that question, it was evident that many of us confuse love and relationships. They’re not synonymous.

      I saw you loving yourself on V-day lmao…literally laughed out loud at you and your flowers on IG. but seriously though, I’m glad you were able to find the beauty (and love) in something that was probably there all along 😉

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      1. oh I forgot that we are on IG! lol oh yes I was in looooovvve with myself that day. I don’t know what got into me but I was so happy. I remember a time when V-Day used to be my worst enemy. I can’t pinpoint when that changed but I know for sure that it happened after I started blogging. I think that we nourish ourselves here so much that its easy to grow without noticing. I looked back at my old articles and was in shock at the change. Have you noticed a change in yourself?

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      2. Well actually I changed before I started the blog so blogging was more like my coming out party to the world (and my friends and family). It was “hey y’all, forget the other kg…this one is me” lol

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  9. Great post Kathy, and wasn’t as long as I thought- just those pics made it look long when scrolling on my phone. Your sundays sound so good! I love it! So what is Dwight’s average rating so far this year? haha

    I don’t do valentines day, but as you know- mine and R’s nod to the day and to love was to continue with counselling, including a session on valentines day. Romantic, huh? 🙂

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    1. I was going to tell you that it’s less than 700 words. You know I don’t write very long things. I LOVE our Sundays! We rate the relationship lol, not one another…I don’t think I’d want to ask someone to rate ME on a scale of 1-10 lol

      I understand totally. Think that falls into the “loving yourself” category, which to me is all one needs.

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  11. If you love yourself, you don’t need the constant validation of another person. The 2/14 tokens aren’t necessary if love is always there, and they don’t mean anything if it isn’t. Hubby and I gave up the card and flower and candy bit a long time ago. 🙂

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  12. Girl, with your Ph.D AND your Doctorate in Been Married for 20 Years-o-logy , I can’t think of anyone who is more credentialed to write this article YAAAASSSSS!
    I’d say you’re qualified!

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  13. Love this, especially you and your husband MAKING time for each other and your relationship. With such a simple itinerary. It’s important to keep dating yourself and each other, no matter how long you’ve been established.

    sssidenote, that Avocoalda at Tropical Smoothie?!!! 😍 the bee’s knees!

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    1. Thanks Kelley Kelley 😉 It has turned out to be one of the best parts of us.

      So, sometimes D gets that avocolada…bleh…it’s a bit off to me. I get an Island Green or the berry one, if I’m trying to stop getting the same thing every time.

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  16. Good article Dr. Garland! I like your points about having conversations regarding relationship boundaries and love restrictions. Anddddd I really like the way you listed a few ways to enhance your relationship outside the typical candies and jewelry. It is all about maintaining that bond. It is important to set aside time during the week for dinner dates, conversations, etc.

    Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤

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    1. Thanks Darryl! Yes. From what I’ve learned, a lot of people don’t have those conversations with the person their in the relationship with. They ask a friend, “What do you think about blah blah blah?” In reality, it doesn’t matter what the friend thinks. All that matters is what you think and will put up with because what I say is appropriate, you might think is crazy! Anywho, I just got worked up thinking about that lol I absolutely want there to be a movement of love that exist beyond material things, kind of like what you’ve mentioned with your birthday cards. Thanks for the comment! Happy Valentine’s Day to you too ❤ ❤ ❤

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      1. OMG you’ve described me + my sister. She’ll ask me and then do whatever she wants to do anyway, so why waste my breath? And some deal breakers for me are just character “flaws” to her. So now, unless she asks something pretty specific, I respond just like that: if you like him, it’d doesn’t matter what I think. She’s on her way to see him now! Ugh of all days! ok I’m done

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      2. Right. I’m so glad you get this! People think I’m being unsupportive, but really, I’m like…go…figure…it…out! I don’t have to live with/date that person. You do! lol about your sister going to see her man 🙂

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  18. Great posts as always Dr. Garland. I think we talked about the conditioning of Little girls that this society does on them in regards to love, valentine’s day, image, etc. This is a great cycle breaking post. You don’t need a day (especially one that’s based off of massacre) to prove to someone you love them. It reminds me of when a lady gets proposed too and so much attention is on the ring, and not the actual upcoming marriage.

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    2. Thanks Tareau! We did…I think with the Unhappy Wife or some other relationship issue. You know I’m trying to spread a message, and I hope those who need to hear it, actually begin to listen. Isn’t it bizarre that we created an entire holiday off of destruction??? lol Sheesh!

      Totally agree about the analogy. I always wonder what people’s everyday lives are like when they receive tons of V-day gifts. We focus so much on this one part and then ignore daily signs of dysfunction. Well, some of us.

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      1. Thanks Kathy. I was really pleased with myself on affirming how much I care about me. If I’d read your post first, I probably would have thought I needed to take on board what you had written. But having given myself really positive affirmations, I was blown away by how much your post echoed my thoughts. 🙂

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