It’s almost time for The Unhappy Wife to be released. I’m getting nervous people. Until then, here’s another quote. This one refers to women who like to make and check off list before and during a relationship. Know what I mean? They want someone who is six feet tall, 800 credit score, reads poetry, works on cars, etc. What do you think?
I can understand your nerves. The bottom line is you’ve put everything into the book (yeah, that’s the nervous part) and done your best. Now it’s time to roll with it. So excited for you! As for the list, I think that comes with all that law of attraction nonsense. Not that there’s not some truth to it. But there’s also a lot to be said for letting go and trusting in the unknown.
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Aha! Hadn’t thought of that. When the law of attraction is reduced to a list of wants and desires…good point. And thanks for the encouragement!
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Don’t be nervous! Embrace the process! I’m right behind you and share the excitement!!π€
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Girrlll…I fluctuate lol Thanks for the encouragement!
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I’m not sure lists like that really work. What people think will be important often isn’t when they actually meet someone they like.
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Bun, I agree. All of a sudden, the list goes right out of the window.
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That’s right! π
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And then a person finds another person who has all qualities on the list and still tries to change him/her. Really don’t understand it; the list or the ‘wanting to change a person’.
Anyway, read your latest posts; good luck on the release!
XxX
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Oh dear. Yes. That can cause a whole slew of problems! Thanks so much for the well wishes!
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Can’t escape those curtain-call jitters! I’m looking forward to the publication of your book.
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Omgosh yes! I was all confident six months ago, now I’m like oh…people are about to actually read these words.
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Two people I know who did this had chosen badly the first time out and divorced, just wanted to be sure they didn’t make the same mistakes again. Another found a “perfect” guy that met all her criteria on the internet–he turned out to be a sociopath/scammer. Personally, I think depending on your heart and gut to guide you is more important than attributes on a list. π
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Sheesh! Those are two very great stories that should deter anyone from list-making! I definitely agree Joan. Heart and gut will lead you down the right path.
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A list is a dangerous thing…I make a list of the qualities I want to see in myself. That’s as far as I’m going to take it, at least for now.
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Agreed Belinda! I just commented to another blogger about how sometimes women make these lists, and they don’t even possess the qualities they seek. Sounds so judgmental as I type it, but this is something I’ve observed.
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I think it’s a good observation, and I’m not sure how judgmental it is. I suppose it’s hard for us to really know how someone else will operate in a relationship, but if someone tells me they’re looking for honesty and compassion in a partner, and I know they’ve lied to me and so on, it raises a question mark in my mind. But I try to keep those specific thoughts to myself, because I know my behavior isn’t always what I want it to be.
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I had a silly list [that included physical attributes] in my early 20s but now I know it’s much more about the spiritual attraction, the connection. The friendship. How he makes me feel and vice versa.
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So glad to hear that kelley because I’ve seen a lot of people twice your age, still making and crossing off those lists, to no avail.
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lol yes since those lists, I have dated short, beardless, men with kids, a man living with his mom-and it is so much more about the connection!
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Just a thought: Because I love myself, I made such a list; then I gave it to God. It saved me from getting into a few draining relationships, and my husband and I have been married over 23 years now, and still best friends. Such a list might shift someone from a vague, “I need a partner” to “this is what I want in a partner / this is what I will not put up with”…
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That’s a different way to look at it and I can see how that could work. I think some people do make those lists from that space of “I need a partner,” and that’s never going to work because, for lack of a better phrase it seems a desperate attempt to fill a void, as opposed to being whole. If your list includes “this is what I will not put up with,” then I would say that’s still a form of self-love. Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting π
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You’re right; as long as a person isn’t whole and comfortable with themself, no partner, even a perfect one, will be able to fill the void.
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