Other People’s Quotes: Intimacy

~ K E Garland

Guess what? We have three more weeks until The Unhappy Wife paperback release! This quote is from the section about detached wives. What do you think? Is sex necessary for a marriage to last? Do extramarital affairs ruin marriages?

berman

21 thoughts on “Other People’s Quotes: Intimacy”

  1. It’s just my personal opinion, but I think sex tends to become a less important component of a happy marriage as the years pass, but of course there are always exceptions. I also think in most marriages, extra-marital affairs are very unlikely to do anything to strengthen a loving relationship and are very likely to damage it. Sometimes marriages can survive infidelity (e.g. the case of the Clintons), but it’s going to be a struggle and trust will be badly knocked. It’s so much better never to go there in the first place. (I’m sorry to be so boringly conventional in my opinions.) 🙂

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    1. Oh Bun! There’s no judgment here about boring and conventional opinions lol I’m just glad you stopped by and chimed in. I do agree that trust is typically scarred, once infidelity is added, but I have seen marriages survive these acts and actually make them a bit stronger. I think if the two people can get beyond the sexual act and understand that it’s a symptom of something else, then a relationship can actually thrive.

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      1. I’ve seen marriages survive it before too. It depends a lot on the circumstances, I think, and also on how the couple work things out afterwards. When it comes to relationships, just about every outcome is possible. 🙂

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  2. I think affection and intimacy evolve in their expression as we age. As long as both are present then deeply loving relationships can remain secure and in fine fettle. Coitus is but one method of sustenance, driven as it is by a primal procreative urge, whether we recognise it as such, or not. 🙂

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    1. I agree. And yes, coitus is very primal, right? But I think this is part of why infidelity occurs, as well. We’re not willing to admit that there is a “primal procreative urge,” and I think that in itself would shed light on some situations, even why people go outside the marriage. On the other hand, it seems that married people have to learn to dig deeper and develop some other intimate connections, because I suppose a purely sexual part of the relationship seems sure to fade, maybe lol I don’t want to commit too hard to that concept.

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  4. I think intimacy and marriage are inextricably bound. If the sex is falling off, then the relationship can only go so far. I think partners need to be open minded. If one’s mind is too rigid and unopened to new ideas, than infidelity is impending.

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    1. I tend to agree Eddie. Although I don’t want to limit intimacy to just sex, but I do feel that two married people need to figure out a way to connect in some type of way. And I totally agree about being rigid and unopen…that might be the segue for some infidelities. I hope you’re gonna get the book…I need some male perspectives.

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  5. I agree with Kelley that it depends on the marriage. For my marriage, it’s important. In fact, sex has gotten us through some tough times where we might otherwise not have made it through. But it’s definitely not all there is to the relationship. As to adultery, I grew up with a stepfather who was a chronic philanderer and it was awful. He made my mother insane and I don’t know why she stuck with him so long. It’s not so much the sex with someone else, it’s the betrayal and the lack of trust that follows that will poison a marriage. But of course that’s just my opinion. Thanks for raising these important questions and so excited about the book!

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    1. That’s interesting to say sex has gotten you through tough times. I’m wondering how, but of course not inviting you to spill the beans here lol…I’m just wondering. I’ve also never thought about the child’s viewpoint in that situation. I could see how that would be frustrating, kinda like watching your parent be abused, almost. I’ve learned (kind of like you’ve shown here) that it really does depend on the woman, man, marriage, years, all of that, as to what you’ll “put up with.” I’m really looking forward to you (and everyone else) reading it and sharing your thoughts. Thanks for stopping by and being so openKim!

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    1. Thanks for your support kelley! I look forward to you reading it. As far as what you think, you might be right. I’m not sure how much the sex goes with age, so I’m starting to think there should be other forms of intimacy no matter the age of the two people or relationship.

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